Forrest Gump Dies and
Goes to Heaven
Forrest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven.He is met at the Pearly Gates by St.
Peter himself. The gates are closed, however,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St.
Peter says ... "Well, Forrest, it's certainly
good to see you. We have heard so many good things
about you.
I must inform you that the
place is filling up fast, and we've been
giving an entrance quiz for everyone.
The tests are short, but you need to pass
before you can get into
Heaven.
Forrest
responds.... "It sure is good to
be here,
St. Peter.
I was looking forwardto this. Nobody evertold me about
any entrance exam.
Sure
hope the test ain't too hard;
Life was a big enough test as it was.
St.
Peter goes on, ...
"I
know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions:
1.
What days of the week begin with the letter T?
2.
How many seconds are there in a year?
3.
What is God's first name?"
Forrest
goes away to think the questions over. He
returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter
to try to answer the exam questions.
St.
Peter waves him up and says ...
"Now
that you have had a chance to think the questions
over, tell me your answers".
Forrest
says...
"Well, the first one how many days of the week begin
with the letter "T?" "Shucks, that one's
easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The
Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims ....
"Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but.....
you do
have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify,
so I will give you credit for that answer."
"How about the next one?"
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder"
says
Forrest, "but I thought and
thought about that and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded,
St. Peter says ...
"Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with
twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest
says ... "Aw, come on, St Peter, there's
gotta be twelve, January second,
February second, March second.
. . "
"Hold
it" interrupts St. Peter.
"I see where you're going with it.
I
guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite
what I
had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that
one too." "Let's go on with the next
and
final question. Can you tell me God's first
name?"
Forrest
replied, "Andy."
When St.
Peter asked how in the world
he came up with the name Andy????"
Forrest
replied, ...
"You know, St. Peter,
that song we sing in church:
"Andy
walks with me, Andy talks with me."
~