MANDATORY MAYHEM
watch these or die!
I HAVE INCLUDED ON
THIS PAGE SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME. THESE FILMS HAVE HAD THE GREATEST IMPACT
ON ME OVER THE YEARS, AND EACH ONE HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY BLACK HEART. IF YOU ARE A
TRUE FAN OF OVER-THE-TOP CINEMATIC MADNESS, ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ARE RECOMMENDED VIEWING.
CLICK ON COVER ART TO SEE LARGER IMAGE OR ALTERNATIVE ARTWORK FOR SAME FILM.
BAD TASTE: The ultimate splatter-spoof
movie of all time! Aliens invade earth, and it's up to Peter Jackson and his entourage
(the three stooges) to save the world. An alien fast food chain called "Crumbs
Crunchy Delight" wants to use humans as their new taste sensation. A special
government task force (the boys) must stop them from taking over the earth. Together the
four bumbling idiots manage to wipe out the aliens and drive the leader and his space ship
back into orbit. Puke-drinking, brain-eating and chainsaw dismemberment's are just a few
of the highlights. This is probably the goofiest, goriest movie ever made! Jackson
delivered the groceries again with "Meet the Feebles",
and his masterpiece "Brain Dead" (a.k.a.:Dead Alive). All three of these films are in my top list,
but due to limited space, I will include them here for now.
ZOMBIE: Next
to"The Beyond", this is my fave Fulci flick.
Probably his most popular release, due to the overwhelming slew of rip-offs that came out
following the success of "Dawn of the Dead". Zombie was actually released
as"Zombies 2"(supposedly a sequel to Dawn) in Europe. The zombie plaque starts
on an island called Matool where a doctor doing research on the "zombieism"
can't quite figure out what makes the dead get up and walk. Ian Mc Cullock plays a
reporter who travels to the island with a woman whos father dissapeared there. Together
with the help of another vacationing couple, they stumble upon hords of rotting, flesh
eating zombies who will stop at nothing to eat everyone in site. Gianetto De Rossi dishes
out the sauce Italian style, with loads of gut-munching and the famous
splinter in the eye scene. This was the one that got me hooked on zombie flicks, and
still remains the best dead-fest to date. The Roan Group has released this classic on
laserdisk, ltbx. and uncut. Hail to the king.
MANIAC: In an era of
cheap Friday the 13th. rip offs, Maniac stands out as the best slasher movie of all time.
Fat ugly slob (Joe Spinell) goes around town killing, then scalping women to add to his
collection. There are no comical characters, or funny one liners in this sick fucker. A
truly depraved venture into the mind of a sick, disturbed man who finds comfort in using
womens scalps to decorate his mannequins. FX master Tom Savini delivers the gore, having
his own head blown off in what I consider the best shotgun blast
ever put on film. My dream came true when Elite entertainment released this gem on
laserdisk, ltbx. and loaded. If you live in Canada ( like I do ), you may have a hard time
finding this one in the local vid shop, as it was pulled from shelves several years ago
due to the mysoginistic violence towards women.
DR.
BUTCHER M.D. : A totally tasteless combo of cannibalism and zombies all rolled into
one! We are taken to a remote island where the evil Dr. is transforming the local natives
into Zombie slaves. An expedition team go to the island in search of cannibals, and half
of them end up getting eaten. The remaining crew get captured by the good ol' doc, who
decides to perform a bit of surgery. He starts with a reporter from the team, who's intent
was to get the real inside scoop, not her own insides scooped! As she screams in pain, the
Doc shouts out "patient's screams disturbing me, removal of vocal cords."Gotta
love it kiddies! Aquarius edited clips at the beginning from an unfinished film called
"Tales to Tear Your Heart Out", together with an Italian film called "Queen
of the Cannibals", resulting in a fun-filled, gore-drenched schlocker. The fine folks
at Dragon Entertainment have released this family classic on laserdisk in it's original
form titled "Zombie Holocaust". Here are a few pics
from the inside cover. To order, e mail sazuma trading.
THE EVIL DEAD: What started out as a short film titled "Within the Woods",
turned into an instant cult classic when made into a full length feature, and later became
one of the biggest horror movies ever. Equipped with shotgun and chainsaw, our hero Ash
has blasted his way through two sequels, none of which came close to the pure terror that
was unleashed in the original. Most of you reading this have probably seen the film at
least ten times, so there's no need to go on about it. What I remember most after seeing
it for the first time was the chick getting raped by the trees. OUCH!!! A truly horrific
masterpiece that was made on a fairly small budget. Bruce Campbell deserves an Oscar for
his amazing portrayal of Ash, the bumbling idiot in all three ED films (especially the
second one). Elite has released both 1 and 2 on video and laserdisk, as for the 3rd, who
cares!!!
RE-ANIMATOR:
H.P. Lovecraft's tale is brought to the screen by Stuart Gordon with amazing results.
Slightly disturbed scientist Herbert West comes to America to practice medicine at
Miskatonic University. Here he manages to persuade a promising young med student into
helping him collect fresh cadavers for his twisted experiments. Convinced that he's
conquered brain death, West starts injecting his re-agent into "fresh corpses",
only to have them come back as raving mad lunatic-zombies. Top notch special effects,
combined with an amazing cast of characters makes this film a must for any true horror
fan. Beware of the R-version, as all the goodies are missing (most notably the scene
involving Barbara Crampton's crotch). An impressive sequel
"Bride of Re-Animator" followed, this time directed by Brian Yuzna. Both are
available unrated.
HARD BOILED: When it
comes to making action flicks, American movies don't even come close to some of the Hong
Kong stuff, especially John Woo. The first Woo film I experienced was "The
Killer", and man does it pack a punch. When "Hard Boiled" came out at the
local Hong Kong laser shop, I grabbed it without hesitation. Woo's distinct style of film
making, together with the almighty Chow Yun Fat makes this outing his most outrageous. I
lost track of the body count after the first ten minutes! 100% pure slam-bang action
guaranteed. " Bullet in the Head" and "The Killer" rank up there with HB, but once again due to
limited space, I will include them here for now. Just for the record, the bloodiest
shootout sequence ever put on film has to be the last fifteen minutes of "A Better Tomorrow 2". Unfortunately, "Hard
Boiled" was the last Hong Kong film Woo made before heading to the States.
WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS:
Two over-grown behemoths battle it out to the bitter end in this classic monster epic.
Rising from the depths of the ocean to wreak havoc on humanity, the evil green gargantua
unleashes a trail of death and destruction. Japan retaliates by launching an attack, using
top of the line artillery (assorted tonka trucks and tanks). Out of nowhere, the brown
gargantua comes and rescues the green one from the awesome fire power of the Japanese
army. Once he finds out that his evil green brother is dining on the local residents, the
brown gargantua uproots a tree, and starts beating the tar out of him. From this point on,
the two monsters duke it out, destroying half of Japan in the process, until they both end
up being killed when a volcano erupts. Totally hilarious Toho cheese brings back childhood
memories. W.O.T.G. is actually a sequel to "Frankenstein Conquers the World".
Paramount monster classics has released this gem on video and laser.
THE EXORCIST:
Twenty five years later, and it still kicks the shit out of most horror movies to date. I
was around eight years old when I first saw the movie, and couldn't sleep for a week!
Highlights include the famous crucifix fucking scene where Reagan forces her mother to
lick the evil wound, and of course the pea soup puke spew all over the poor Rev. Basic
story of a young girl who gets possessed, and alas, an exorcist is performed to drive the
demons out! During the lengthy procedures, we are treated to
cussing, spewing, neck-twisting, elevating and the
hideous transformation of one ugly little bitch. Considering the time of it's release,
"The Exorcist" broke new ground in horror, shocking people worldwide. Many rip
offs followed, none of which came close to the original. Although she went on to appear in
several low budget outings, Linda Blair will always be remembered as the ugly, foul
mouthed bitch from hell! Two sequels followed, but once again, you know the story....
STORY OF RICKY: Totally fuckin insane
prison flick from Hong Kong. Ricky is sentenced to a maximum security prison for killing a
slimeball drug dealer who was responsible for the death of his girlfriend. The evil warden
and his goon squad try to snuff out Ricky, but little do they know about the super powers
he possesses. Watch in amazement as Ricky pulverizes his opponents into hamburger meat.
See him punch clean through heads and torsos, perform self surgery, and gargle razor
blades. One poor bastard even pulls out his own intestines in an attempt to choke Ricky,
but ends up losing his eye, then gets his skull smashed in. The final showdown between
Ricky and the corrupt owner of the prison is not to be missed! The guts will literally fly
off the screen, and into your face. Available via import Hong Kong laserdisk.
back to main page
BAD TASTE: The ultimate splatter-spoof
movie of all time! Aliens invade earth, and it's up to Peter Jackson and his entourage
(the three stooges) to save the world. An alien fast food chain called "Crumbs
Crunchy Delight" wants to use humans as their new taste sensation. A special
government task force (the boys) must stop them from taking over the earth. Together the
four bumbling idiots manage to wipe out the aliens and drive the leader and his space ship
back into orbit. Puke-drinking, brain-eating and chainsaw dismemberment's are just a few
of the highlights. This is probably the goofiest, goriest movie ever made! Jackson
delivered the groceries again with "Meet the Feebles",
and his masterpiece "Brain Dead" (a.k.a.:Dead Alive). All three of these films are in my top list,
but due to limited space, I will include them here for now.
ZOMBIE: Next
to"The Beyond", this is my fave Fulci flick.
Probably his most popular release, due to the overwhelming slew of rip-offs that came out
following the success of "Dawn of the Dead". Zombie was actually released
as"Zombies 2"(supposedly a sequel to Dawn) in Europe. The zombie plaque starts
on an island called Matool where a doctor doing research on the "zombieism"
can't quite figure out what makes the dead get up and walk. Ian Mc Cullock plays a
reporter who travels to the island with a woman whos father dissapeared there. Together
with the help of another vacationing couple, they stumble upon hords of rotting, flesh
eating zombies who will stop at nothing to eat everyone in site. Gianetto De Rossi dishes
out the sauce Italian style, with loads of gut-munching and the famous
splinter in the eye scene. This was the one that got me hooked on zombie flicks, and
still remains the best dead-fest to date. The Roan Group has released this classic on
laserdisk, ltbx. and uncut. Hail to the king. 
MANIAC: In an era of
cheap Friday the 13th. rip offs, Maniac stands out as the best slasher movie of all time.
Fat ugly slob (Joe Spinell) goes around town killing, then scalping women to add to his
collection. There are no comical characters, or funny one liners in this sick fucker. A
truly depraved venture into the mind of a sick, disturbed man who finds comfort in using
womens scalps to decorate his mannequins. FX master Tom Savini delivers the gore, having
his own head blown off in what I consider the best shotgun blast
ever put on film. My dream came true when Elite entertainment released this gem on
laserdisk, ltbx. and loaded. If you live in Canada ( like I do ), you may have a hard time
finding this one in the local vid shop, as it was pulled from shelves several years ago
due to the mysoginistic violence towards women.
DR.
BUTCHER M.D. : A totally tasteless combo of cannibalism and zombies all rolled into
one! We are taken to a remote island where the evil Dr. is transforming the local natives
into Zombie slaves. An expedition team go to the island in search of cannibals, and half
of them end up getting eaten. The remaining crew get captured by the good ol' doc, who
decides to perform a bit of surgery. He starts with a reporter from the team, who's intent
was to get the real inside scoop, not her own insides scooped! As she screams in pain, the
Doc shouts out "patient's screams disturbing me, removal of vocal cords."Gotta
love it kiddies! Aquarius edited clips at the beginning from an unfinished film called
"Tales to Tear Your Heart Out", together with an Italian film called "Queen
of the Cannibals", resulting in a fun-filled, gore-drenched schlocker. The fine folks
at Dragon Entertainment have released this family classic on laserdisk in it's original
form titled "Zombie Holocaust". Here are a few pics
from the inside cover. To order, e mail sazuma trading.
THE EVIL DEAD: What started out as a short film titled "Within the Woods",
turned into an instant cult classic when made into a full length feature, and later became
one of the biggest horror movies ever. Equipped with shotgun and chainsaw, our hero Ash
has blasted his way through two sequels, none of which came close to the pure terror that
was unleashed in the original. Most of you reading this have probably seen the film at
least ten times, so there's no need to go on about it. What I remember most after seeing
it for the first time was the chick getting raped by the trees. OUCH!!! A truly horrific
masterpiece that was made on a fairly small budget. Bruce Campbell deserves an Oscar for
his amazing portrayal of Ash, the bumbling idiot in all three ED films (especially the
second one). Elite has released both 1 and 2 on video and laserdisk, as for the 3rd, who
cares!!!
RE-ANIMATOR:
H.P. Lovecraft's tale is brought to the screen by Stuart Gordon with amazing results.
Slightly disturbed scientist Herbert West comes to America to practice medicine at
Miskatonic University. Here he manages to persuade a promising young med student into
helping him collect fresh cadavers for his twisted experiments. Convinced that he's
conquered brain death, West starts injecting his re-agent into "fresh corpses",
only to have them come back as raving mad lunatic-zombies. Top notch special effects,
combined with an amazing cast of characters makes this film a must for any true horror
fan. Beware of the R-version, as all the goodies are missing (most notably the scene
involving Barbara Crampton's crotch). An impressive sequel
"Bride of Re-Animator" followed, this time directed by Brian Yuzna. Both are
available unrated. 
HARD BOILED: When it
comes to making action flicks, American movies don't even come close to some of the Hong
Kong stuff, especially John Woo. The first Woo film I experienced was "The
Killer", and man does it pack a punch. When "Hard Boiled" came out at the
local Hong Kong laser shop, I grabbed it without hesitation. Woo's distinct style of film
making, together with the almighty Chow Yun Fat makes this outing his most outrageous. I
lost track of the body count after the first ten minutes! 100% pure slam-bang action
guaranteed. " Bullet in the Head" and "The Killer" rank up there with HB, but once again due to
limited space, I will include them here for now. Just for the record, the bloodiest
shootout sequence ever put on film has to be the last fifteen minutes of "A Better Tomorrow 2". Unfortunately, "Hard
Boiled" was the last Hong Kong film Woo made before heading to the States.
WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS:
Two over-grown behemoths battle it out to the bitter end in this classic monster epic.
Rising from the depths of the ocean to wreak havoc on humanity, the evil green gargantua
unleashes a trail of death and destruction. Japan retaliates by launching an attack, using
top of the line artillery (assorted tonka trucks and tanks). Out of nowhere, the brown
gargantua comes and rescues the green one from the awesome fire power of the Japanese
army. Once he finds out that his evil green brother is dining on the local residents, the
brown gargantua uproots a tree, and starts beating the tar out of him. From this point on,
the two monsters duke it out, destroying half of Japan in the process, until they both end
up being killed when a volcano erupts. Totally hilarious Toho cheese brings back childhood
memories. W.O.T.G. is actually a sequel to "Frankenstein Conquers the World".
Paramount monster classics has released this gem on video and laser.
THE EXORCIST:
Twenty five years later, and it still kicks the shit out of most horror movies to date. I
was around eight years old when I first saw the movie, and couldn't sleep for a week!
Highlights include the famous crucifix fucking scene where Reagan forces her mother to
lick the evil wound, and of course the pea soup puke spew all over the poor Rev. Basic
story of a young girl who gets possessed, and alas, an exorcist is performed to drive the
demons out! During the lengthy procedures, we are treated to
cussing, spewing, neck-twisting, elevating and the
hideous transformation of one ugly little bitch. Considering the time of it's release,
"The Exorcist" broke new ground in horror, shocking people worldwide. Many rip
offs followed, none of which came close to the original. Although she went on to appear in
several low budget outings, Linda Blair will always be remembered as the ugly, foul
mouthed bitch from hell! Two sequels followed, but once again, you know the story....
STORY OF RICKY: Totally fuckin insane
prison flick from Hong Kong. Ricky is sentenced to a maximum security prison for killing a
slimeball drug dealer who was responsible for the death of his girlfriend. The evil warden
and his goon squad try to snuff out Ricky, but little do they know about the super powers
he possesses. Watch in amazement as Ricky pulverizes his opponents into hamburger meat.
See him punch clean through heads and torsos, perform self surgery, and gargle razor
blades. One poor bastard even pulls out his own intestines in an attempt to choke Ricky,
but ends up losing his eye, then gets his skull smashed in. The final showdown between
Ricky and the corrupt owner of the prison is not to be missed! The guts will literally fly
off the screen, and into your face. Available via import Hong Kong laserdisk.