This, being my first year of University, first year away from home.....well, my first year standing (somewhat) on my own two feet, has been one of the hardest years of my life. I wouldn't want to ever change anything that has happened, but this has been the hardest time I've ever had.
It started when I first applied for University. I feared because of my past problems that I would not get accepted anywhere. To my amazement and happiness, the wonderful University of Ottawa accepted me into the Arts Faculty.
Mistake number 1 - If you don't want to be an arts student, don't enter that faculty!
I was accepted on something called academic probation. I was expected to attend meetings with others accepted on probation, where we discussed good study skills as well as the troubles we anticipated we would encounter. It was the biggest waste of time I've ever witnessed. The most help they could have given me this year was a chance to correct my mistakes for next year, though many things I had no control over. Example, family illnesses. The next obstacle to overcome was finding a place to live. Because of my lower academic standing, I was placed on a waiting list for regular residences (yet another subject I am extremely bitter about......why should french canadian students, no matter what their grades are, be accepted into residence, while those of us from out of town are left to scramble because there is no space left?). So, in a very risky bid, I applied for Brooks, the apartment style residences for 2nd year students and up.
Mistake number 2 - Never (and I do mean NEVER) move in with someone you don't know like the back of your hand, and even then moving in with them is a large risk.
I'm currently not on speaking terms with one of my roommates. In fact, I doubt I ever want to see her again once she moves out. I should have taken my own advice a long time ago, but seeing as I didn't, I paid the consequences. Life does go on, but for many a month it was not in an enjoyable matter. K, back on task. I was accepted into Brooks, and next I planned my attack on how to get my furniture the 4 hours up to Ottawa. A rental van, rental car, and a friend's car later, I am safely and happily moved in to my new home. 3/4 of my furniture is on loan for a few years, but it's nice stuff, and I am extremely happy about it. Next was the settling in, dealing with frosh week (or lack there of for those of us in arts) and buying my books and starting my classes. This all happened in quite a rush, and I promptly remembered why I initially wanted to take this year off. I was sick of school like you couldn't imagine, and after my first english - essay writing lecture I knew I was not meant to be here.
Mistake number 3 - Save money before attempting to go to University....do not spend the summer frittering...
I worship the OSAP gods. I admit I had absolutely nothing saved when I left home this year. I currently am $12 000 in debt, and forever indebted to my mother who constantly saved my sorry ass whenever I called home begging for money. Between my bad spending habits, train trips home (they hurt after the first few), and my taste for expensive food, I quickly went through large amounts of money for a single student for 8 months. Now, granted, after arriving I had small household purchases to make, and I have also accumulated furniture for the future... of course, without money or an education, I have no future, making my furniture completely useless.
Mistake number 4 - Go to University because you want to, not because everyone else thinks you should.
I ended up not only dropping one course each semester, but I am currently failing 2 other courses and in a great risk of not being permitted to come back next year. They don't care that my grandfather is on death's bed, nor that I had a complete breakdown during our reading week. They only care that my GPA is below what it should be. I am now screwed, and currently trying to find ways to convince them that next year I will do much better. I never once saw myself in this position in the future, but now that I am here I regret many a thing I did not do.
Mistake number 5 - When falling behind, it is not good to give up hope and stop going to class.
I started off my year doing ok. Made sure everything was handed in on time. Not my best work, but at least it was in and better than a zero. Ended first semester feeling pretty good. Knew I had a lot of making up to do for the next semester, but it was all good. Next thing I knew, I had stopped going to a few classes, I wrote a few bad midterms for second semester.....the end of the year was approaching far too fast, and I watched everything I had ever tried to achieve go down the world's biggest drain. I lost all hope in myself and in my work, and by the time final exams were here, I could only attempt to pass 2 courses. Things with my roommate were destroyed, grandfather isn't doing well..... nothing mattered. I wish I could blame my lack of marks on going out partying every night.
I wish I could point to each thing I did wrong and consider it a normal act of a first year University student. I can't though. I truly wish I could erase this year, even though I have no regrets. The chance to start over isn't there. If I slip through the system and am accepted back next year, I know it will be different. If not....who knows? Maybe I'll join the ranks of unemployed young adults living off their parents..... although I know neither my mother nor I could live like that......
To be continued as life goes on..........
If you have comments or suggestions, email me at msknight@idirect.ca
This page is all my own opinion and relates directly to me. None of the opinions expressed here are those of the University of Ottawa..........hope this works as my blurb of a disclaimer........type.....thingy