For those of you who are intimidated by our incredible cooking skill, here's the recipe for cooking Turkey Inna Bag - it's so easy, you won't believe that it will work. If you don't trust me, try it out on a chicken.
This recipe will produce a very juicy, tender bird, every time. Gets a little boring after a while.
Step one: get a turkey. If it's frozen, thaw it.
Step two: get a plain, brown paper bag, big enough to fit the turkey inside.
Step three: get a stick of salted butter. Grab it with your bare hand. Rub it all over the outside of the bag - make sure you don't miss any spots. Then grease up the inside of the bag. Don't be squeamish about getting butter on your arm, it's good for the skin. Grease it, baby! Grease it until it's translucent! Yeah baby, yeah!
Step four: Stuff the turkey with whatever turkey-stuffing recipe you happen to find. Keep in mind that the stuffing will become extremely moist ("wet" would be more accurate), so if you like your stuffing dry or crunchy, leave some to cook on top of the stove.
Step five: Grease the turkey, same as the bag. Put the stuffed turkey in the bag. Fold the opening closed, seal it with some more butter, and fold it under the turkey. Put the turkey in a roasting pan and stick it in the oven at 350 for about 3 hours for an 18 pound turkey, a half hour longer for a bigger bird.
No basting, no poking, just forget about it.
The hardest part about this recipe is the wait - you can't see what the turkey's doing, because it's in the bag. And you don't want to tear the bag, because that would let all the steam out.
A half-hour before it's time to come out, tear a small hole in the top of the bag and peek in (careful of the steam). If the skin is starting to brown, tear off the paper and put it back in the oven until it's done. Then take it out and let it sit for a half hour or so before cutting.
The meat will probably fall right off the bones, so if you're looking for a good presentation for your table, this isn't the right recipe to follow. But if you're having a buffet style dinner, you can carve it in the roasting pan and put the meat into serving bowls.