What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
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   Friday, July 19, 2002

WOMEN IN BLACK

I can hardly bear to leave the house during the day this past week. Not only has Toronto's legendary humid summer been extra nasty so far this year, but the streets are crawling with nuns. They're everywhere. As "World Youth Day" approaches, great (flocks? packs?gaggles?) of nuns roam our city streets, apparently impervious to the heat in their black robes. They scare me.

No reason they should, of course -- they seem jolly enough with each other, and surprisingly loud (you should hear them on a subway!). We've had The Flying Nun, The Singing Nun, Nuns on the Run, Nunsense and two whole Sister Acts. I'm sure it's just the penguin-robed principal of the Catholic School I attended as a kid -- the woman who beat my hands raw with a wooden ruler for minor infractions -- that's given me this strange phobia. Yes, that must be it.

I'll be much happier when the Pope and his loyal army of nuns have left our fair city after their World Youth Day next weekend, as will all the Jewish, Hindu, Islam and Buddhist youth who don't seem to count in this World. I want the Pope gone, the nuns gone, their wooden rulers gone and, if they can take this hellish heat with them as well, that would be a day truly worth celebrating.