What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
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   Thursday, August 08, 2002

GREEN-EYED MONSTERS

As I guard my pub nightly against drunks, teens and the occasional lunatic, people often stop to express pity for my boyfriend. I'd agree with them if we were talking scheduling, since our evenings together are so brief, but these people are usually talking about feelings. "I wouldn't be able to handle it if my boyfriend worked in a bar," they say, "I'd be so jealous." They believe that working in a gay bar increases my risk of cheating on my boyfriend and, with hundreds of men of every type strolling by me all evening, they're probably right.

I wonder why, though, no one looks at the other side of it? While I sit by the steps of the city's biggest gay bar, in full view of anyone in the neighbourhood, my pitied boyfriend can logically be out doing whatever or whoever he likes. How would I know? I'm working. On Saturday nights, I'm handing back fake ID cards while he's on the dance floor with his friends at the pick-up joint down the street -- so why does he get all the concern?

It's ugly to think that my job would prevent us from simply trusting one another. Having fought over such things with him (breaking up twice, in fact), I can say I'm almost certain that I don't want anyone other than him and I'm almost certain that he doesn't want anyone other than me. It's the 'almost' bits that are both unsettling and apparently universal but I can deal with them if he can.