What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
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   Monday, July 14, 2003

I GENERALLY HATE THE WORD 'EMPOWERING'...

It's funny how a tiny change can have a tremendous impact, but I discovered a wonderful step forward in my meditation practice this week. For years, whenever I'd spent what admittedly little time I do focusing inward, I would follow the advice I'd received years ago. The idea, I once read, was to imagine breathing in light or purity or what-have-you and breathing out distress, negativity and so-forth. I'd dutifully done this, to mildly positive effect, but something always felt a bit off to me.

A "can't-praise-it-enough" book by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron called "The Places That Scare You" showed me a different tack: her advice was the exact opposite -- to breathe in the pain of the world outside myself, holding it with my own as I feel my inward being expand and lighten, until I release my inner compassion and warmth. It sounds bizarre but feels marvellous in practice, knowing that I am not just capable of taking in and feeling such pain but actually converting it into something good.

Before, I felt as though I were taking in the world's light and breathing out my own filth in return -- hardly an uplifting notion -- but now, I feel like I'm healing in some way, seeing myself as capable of bringing some light into the world. It's a new and lovely feeling for me and I guess I have Pema and her book to thank!