What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
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   Friday, September 12, 2003

FLUFFY BUNNY HARMLESS

Apparently, I'm scary.

Stan the boss took me aside yesterday to let me know that two of the girls working for us have separately admitted that they're "afraid" (yes, that's a direct quote) to ask me questions. "They think you don't like them," he said and, since I'm no more or less friendly with them than other staff members I enjoy being with, I'm baffled. I do remember joking with Gabe that, since there's always just so much to do, "I'm too busy for feelings!" She found that hilarious but then, she's crusty like me.

So what to do, I asked Stan. When I'm knee-deep in tasks, no one's really helping and I'm desperate to leave on time for once, how can I let the people around me know that I respect, enjoy and cherish them? "What do they want? Backrubs?" Stan laughed but then, he's crusty like Gabe.

The sad part is that I've been told this before. I remember a guy I once dated describing me as "intimidating" because I was smarter than him. I thought that was hysterical. First off, I said, if that's the case, then he must be deathly afraid of your average french poodle and, secondly, I'm the least intimidating person EVER. I'm filled with nervous energy, somewhat geeky and weigh all of 150 lbs. "I am fluffy bunny harmless!" I announced to a friend, who just laughed but did admit that, to someone really insecure, I could come off as "intense." Sigh.

In the spirit of gentleness and tolerance then, on a day when the ridiculous human need for anniversaries had us all pondering the spectre of global terrorism yet again, I took time out to soothe some singed egos. I was giving sugar to all the girls today -- and perhaps a boy or two as well. Should I keep that up? Have I perhaps become heartless and insensitive, or just more aware but there are bigger problems out there than me not being sweet enough while I'm trying to keep a simple record store working?

To quote Gabe, "Oh whatever -- just tell them to do something."