What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
(and remember, you can always e-mail me if you love or loathe anything you're about to read)...


   Wednesday, October 08, 2003

END OF DAYS

And here I was, thinking that Ontario had just elected a walking X-factor in Dalton McGuinty, when California just went ahead as threatened and made Arnold Schwarzenegger their new governor. Were I not merely a casual observer of the political scene in California, I'd have a more solid opinion than "huh?" Fortunately for all of us, Slate journalist Mickey Kaus discusses the Schwarzenegger victory with razor-sharp precision. Be sure to scroll down to the headline, "Schwarzanoia strikes deep: Was he behind the recall all along?" Kaus offers his 6-point conspiracy theory list and it's brilliant.

Faced with such finger-on-the-pulse journalism, what more on Ah-nuld can my own humble blog offer? Only my firm belief that, if you can't be smart, be a smart-ass...

POSITIVE OUTCOMES FROM THE SCHWARZENEGGER ELECTION:

-- Arnold's busy new schedule leaves no time to film "Kindergarden Cop 2"

-- California journalists will find newer, more exciting uses for the word 'terminated'

-- Maria Shriver now one step closer to her goal of being 'new Jackie O'

-- Feminists have a fresh source of outrage following Clinton presidency

-- California will quickly extradite that 50% obese population we keep hearing about; Nevada soon fills with flabby, girly-men

-- State policy papers will replace dull, 'governmenty' titles with new ones like "Hasta la Vista, Deficit!" and "Unions: Talk to the Hand!"

-- Action films like "Predator" and "Commando" will seem as bizarre as those 1950's Ronald Reagan westerns

-- Austria hasn't been this influential since 1938

-- New opportunities for campaign aides and friends Rob Lowe and Jay Leno will further erase that annoying line between politics and entertainment

-- Victory continues myth of the American dream, in which penniless dreamers can one day become wealthy leaders and, if they don't, it's all their fault, the losers!