What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
(and remember, you can always e-mail me if you love or loathe anything you're about to read)...


   Sunday, September 28, 2003

HOW TO FEAR THE FUTURE

What do you do when you glance at the calendar's week ahead and wish it was over already? When life is so precious and fleeting, how can you justify wishing to erase five whole days of it? With Gabe leaving early on her maternity leave, it's up to a group of us "senior staff" at the record store to pitch in, giving me both a slight promotion and the job of staff scheduling. I'd be more excited about this new responsibility if Dean at the pub hadn't scheduled me to work five nights this week, Monday straight through Friday. That makes five fifteen-hour days in a row, which I strive never to allow but we're tight for security staff, it seems. How am I going to do this? One thing's for sure: I'll be stocking up on naps, so don't expect me back here for a bit, but please check in on me next weekend!

MY GEEK HEART BEATS FASTER

The BBC announced this week that, after a 14-year hiatus, a new series of Doctor Who will premiere in 2005, possibly starring Richard E. Grant and written by Queer as Folk creator Russell Davies. I remember watching QAF with Bryce and Gord and being teased by them when Vince secretly, late at night, pops a tape into his VCR. The shot reveals that, with no one around, he's not watching porn but Doctor Who. "It's you!" Bryce and Gord cackled while I, with teeth gritted, had to admit they were right.

But I loved Vince, and we both love Doctor Who -- wittier than Star Trek, more British than Buffy, and cheaper than Battlestar Galactica. Yes, everyone makes fun of its bargain-basement special effects (and deservedly so), but no other sci-fi show tried harder to surprise, amuse and terrify its family audience on a weekly basis. Besides, it ran for 26 years (though at least five of those were indeed crap)!

The late Douglas Adams said that the secret to writing for Doctor Who was "to keep it smart enough for children to enjoy but simple enough for adults to understand." Good luck, Russell, there's a new generation of kids out there who need someone to fight the monsters, and we older generation who'd like to cheer him on.

Labels: back in the day, Doctor Who, TV

ROUND AND ROUND

We like to think that our lives are linear, moving from birth-point-A to death-point-B, but I'm always struck by how old patterns reassert themselves, how the future never looks the same way twice and how the past keeps popping back up again. No real concrete events have happened lately to highlight this -- other than a welcome dinner this evening with a friend I haven't really said more than a sentence to in about a year -- but it's a general mood I've had this past month. I don't feel as though I'm moving forward on a road that leads off into the distance, but rather standing still as life swirls around me in a circle, as I catch glimpses of all of it. This feeling is sometimes a comfort, sometimes a curse.

DOWN (LOW) BUT NOT OUT

To the shock of pretty-well no one, the UN announced this week that the governments of the world aren't doing much to hold back the spread of AIDS. It seems that all the promises made two years back at the previous summit haven't been met. That's what I call a slow news week, and another depressing reminder that the powers-that-be just don't care about the real problems facing us.

For example, our current mayoral race has all three major candidates vowing to be tougher on crime than their opponents. John Tory, for one, practically has the theme from 'Cops' on his radio ads. Too bad there's so little crime in Toronto for them to get tough about. As far as I can see, wandering psychotic homeless people are this city's real problem but they're harder to fit into a soundbite.

I digress. The AIDS item was what struck me today, especially in combination with this article in the Washington Post about the female partners of black men unwittingly contracting HIV from them. Anyone familiar with the plight of 'crack babies' knows that the press just loves the 'innocent victim' story but, whatever their motives, it's good to see this issue being discussed. It's a sad fact that some 'straight' black men are having unprotected sex with other men 'on the down-low', contracting the HIV virus and passing it on to their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends. This stirs up all our anxieties around race, class, sexuality and disease but the bottom line is that these women suffer a horrifying betrayal from men too afraid to stand up to their homophobic peers.

You want to get tough on crime, John Tory? Start advocating that black men accept the gay brothers in their ranks and you'll do a lot more to prevent some real, ongoing crimes, rather than punishing the occasional B & E. Oh right, too difficult, too tricky. Forget I mentioned it, though the wives won't.

Labels: Trawna

WE DIDN'T LIE, YOU JUST HEARD US WRONG

The Bush administration gets more horrifying with each passing week. They're now saying that they have never alleged a link between Saddam Hussein and the events of September 11, 2001. A recent poll shows that 70 percent of Americans believe that the Iraqi dictator was in some way behind the attacks on New York City and Washington but Bush is now suggesting that he had nothing to do with creating that impression while beginning his war on Iraq. It's unbelievable -- I'd have more respect for the man if he just came out and said, "Whoops, I thought I was on to something there but I was wrong."

VP Dick Cheney has been particularly shifty -- getting caught in 'mis-statements' he made just days prior -- and the Boston Globe's Derrick Jackson takes him to task for it here. More damning, however, is psychiatrist Robert McKinnon's condemnation of the current US administration as "arrogant, self-important, unempathic, careless of the future and ethically primitive."

Now, I realize that I'm just a lone Canadian with no influence whatsoever on American politics but I beg any US voters reading this to please do whatever you can to prevent these people from gaining a second term. Things are getting worse all the time with this gang in charge.

Labels: Canada, George W Bush

MARTIN SCORSESE GETS THE BLUES

Pull out your calendar, appointment book, PalmPilot or whatever, and book off the evenings of September 28 - October 4. The PBS website has all the info on Scorsese's new 7-film-17-CD-and-1-book history of blues music in America. As he himself says,

"If you already know the blues, then maybe this music will give you a reason to go back to it. And if you've never heard the blues, and you're coming across it for the first time, I can promise you this: Your life is about to change for the better."

Robert Johnson, Bessie Smith, Muddy Waters, B.B. King, John Lee Hooker, Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughan...do I have to keep going? I can't wait for this series.

FLUFFY BUNNY HARMLESS

Apparently, I'm scary.

Stan the boss took me aside yesterday to let me know that two of the girls working for us have separately admitted that they're "afraid" (yes, that's a direct quote) to ask me questions. "They think you don't like them," he said and, since I'm no more or less friendly with them than other staff members I enjoy being with, I'm baffled. I do remember joking with Gabe that, since there's always just so much to do, "I'm too busy for feelings!" She found that hilarious but then, she's crusty like me.

So what to do, I asked Stan. When I'm knee-deep in tasks, no one's really helping and I'm desperate to leave on time for once, how can I let the people around me know that I respect, enjoy and cherish them? "What do they want? Backrubs?" Stan laughed but then, he's crusty like Gabe.

The sad part is that I've been told this before. I remember a guy I once dated describing me as "intimidating" because I was smarter than him. I thought that was hysterical. First off, I said, if that's the case, then he must be deathly afraid of your average french poodle and, secondly, I'm the least intimidating person EVER. I'm filled with nervous energy, somewhat geeky and weigh all of 150 lbs. "I am fluffy bunny harmless!" I announced to a friend, who just laughed but did admit that, to someone really insecure, I could come off as "intense." Sigh.

In the spirit of gentleness and tolerance then, on a day when the ridiculous human need for anniversaries had us all pondering the spectre of global terrorism yet again, I took time out to soothe some singed egos. I was giving sugar to all the girls today -- and perhaps a boy or two as well. Should I keep that up? Have I perhaps become heartless and insensitive, or just more aware but there are bigger problems out there than me not being sweet enough while I'm trying to keep a simple record store working?

To quote Gabe, "Oh whatever -- just tell them to do something."

NICE ONE, DEAN

Will Howard Dean be the next President of the United States? I don't know but unlike Dubya's dumb and blunt style, Dean's refreshingly smart and blunt. Critics have attacked George Bush for proposing to spend $87 billion on the ongoing Iraq invasion (while finally admitting that the United Nations might have to be involved) but Dean's response was my favourite: "We're in trouble, and we need the help of all of the people that the president insulted on the way into Iraq." Ouch.

Labels: George W Bush

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

Here's my ten-point plan for the best weekend in months:

1. Work the dull-but-not-horrible 10 pm - 2 am shift at the pub, but no others. This ensures that only Friday night is taken up, yet money for bills will still be forthcoming.

2. Sleep in very late on Saturday morning, then stay in bed all afternoon reading a collection of Thomas Friedman essays.

3. Grab the collection of tickets to various movies at this year's Toronto International Film Festival that a well-connected friend generously gave you out of the blue. Chat with a movie-loving married couple from Philadelphia in the soothing Isabel Bader theatre while waiting for the lights to go down for "Emile," a lovely Canadian film starring Ian McKellen, Deborah Kara Unger, and the scenery of Victoria, BC. Delight in McKellen himself sitting three rows directly in front of you throughout, and the entire cast answering questions after the film.

4. Walk briskly over to Yonge Street, grabbing a cup of yogurt and a banana on the way, to get in line for your second movie of the day. Laugh with another couple at the titles of that theatre's screenings: while those with tickets for "Bright Future" can go right in, those of us there for "Sexual Dependency" have to wait. Thrill to the movie itself -- a picked-from-the-book-at-random gamble that pays off in spades with a challenging, sexy, harrowing film experience. Watch the young first-time director from Bolivia score a distribution deal with Alliance Atlantis on the spot. Grab a cup of tea and take a long stroll home on a pleasant summer night, going to bed before 1 am to prepare for a long Sunday.

5. Get up early, grab your yoga mat and head to King's College Circle at U of T, where actor Woody Harrelson hosts a massive outdoor yoga class at 10 am. Obey the instructors from Downward Dog yoga studio for ninety minutes of meditation, stretching and balancing. Realize at one point that the sun is so much hotter than the weather channel predicted but that you're enjoying the cool breeze on your back too much to care about the inevitable sunburn.

6. Race home for the fastest shower/shave ever so you're not too late to meet your friend Gil for a great lunch at the Green Mango. Thank Gil for inviting you to "Lost in Translation," the film with arguably the most buzz at this year's fest. Run into a friend from university whom you haven't seen in over a decade -- he invites you into his spot in line. Remember how you once had a useless crush on him and smile at how he remembers you fondly. Save seats down in front for him, his wife and her friend to return the spot-in-line favour.

7. Thoroughly enjoy the movie -- a melancholy, funny romance that features Bill Murray's best work since "Rushmore." Head over to the Indigo bookstore with Gil afterward to natter about the movie over juice and a sandwich.

8. Walk a mere flight upward in the Manulife centre to the Varsity theatre for your fourth film in two days -- a British, realist take on "Fight Club" called "The Principles of Lust." Feel the movie's lost main character hit a little too close to home and note that every film you've seen this weekend is in some way about the need to connect with others. Ponder how little it successfully happens in these films and less so in your own life. Wonder how you'll resolve that, while loving at how film can so often and so neatly provide a focusing lens in such a way.

9. Arrive late at the Opera House with the ticket you purchased weeks ago to see the Dandy Warhols in concert. Grumble about the lousy sound and amateurish effort by the band until you find your colleague at the record store and discover that he feels the same way. Enthuse at how both you and Thom are proven wrong once the band starts to find its footing and raise your fists in the air when the band starts to seriously rock. Marvel at how the setlist features less hit singles and songs from the new album -- which you're really enjoying -- and more of their earlier prog-rock album material which you haven't heard. This makes you love them even more. Thank Thom's bandmate and friend Kyle who buys you a beer for no reason at all and leap up and down like an idiot to "Bohemian Like You," a frickin' great song.

10. Get home late, ready for work the next morning, and spend some time applying soothing aloe vera lotion to your sun-burned body as you consider that these past two days have soothed your soul as well.

Labels: bookworm, Canada, friends, health, introspective, money - lack thereof, movies, music, Trawna, working girl