What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
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   Monday, January 26, 2004

THE NOT-SO-STRAIGHT-AFTER-ALL PARTY

I haven't seen my lovely friend Danielle since well before Hanukkah started so imagine how pleased I was to get an e-mail from my friend/her boyfriend Josh, planning a surprise birthday party. Suddenly, our lack-of-getting-together was not rudeness or apathy on anyone's part but a savvy way to deflect Danielle's suspicions. Telling her I'd be too busy to see her on her birthday is easier when I've already told her I'm too busy so many other days.

Turns out it was a karaoke party -- alarming at first but fun once you're ready for it. Christopher was there, along with the not-quite-gay-enough Keith (more on him in a bit). We all spent more time pouring over the songbook than the menu. I sang Bowie's "Let's Dance" and, obviously, an Elvis tune, "Burning Love" (that one required a couple of pints first).

What amazed Danielle was how, well, gay the evening turned out -- despite us homo men being wildly outnumbered by the straight girls in the place, all the songs chosen were lavender nuggets like "Relax," "Flashdance," "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" and "Back in Black" (AC/DC? Oh, please!) "It's like a gay bar in here!" squealed Danielle with delight and even Josh slow-danced with me and the others at one point. "I don't know which team I'm on anymore!" he said. "You're on Team Guiness!" yelled Keith. Christopher, Keith and I did a strange sort of three-way slow-dance to some country song -- especially unnerving after Keith had looked up from the songbook at the two of us and announced, "We should do a threesome!" I heard some part of my brain yelling, 'Poker face! Poker face!' and was unable to look Christopher in the eye.

Keith interested me in the way he seems so straight. I don't even know what he's doing or not doing to make me say that, but there it is. Normally, I hate those personal ads that declare the subject to be "straight-looking, straight-acting." I don't know what that is, especially when all the straight guys I know use hair products and slow-dance with me. The SL,SA thing always seems a bit self-hating to me, but then I chat with a guy like Keith and realize, 'Oh, this is the kind of guy they're looking for -- direct and unassuming, basic masculinity.

I wasn't trying to hit on him but somehow it became apparent that we were ending up together. By the time the evening was winding down after last call, Danielle and Josh were leaving just the two of us -- "for your date," she said. Minutes after they left, the karaoke guy announced that Keith and Josh were due up to sing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" so we got up to drunkenly besmirch a dead man's good legacy. It was fun, though, and despite standing outside a straight bar on Yonge and Davisville at three in the morning, we couldn't help but make out in the street. Keith had earlier praised Hamilton but now I said, "Good thing we're not in Hamilton -- we'd be getting our asses kicked right about now!" He laughed and waved down a taxi to my place, where he turned out to be gay enough indeed -- but I've said too much already.

Thanks for a lovely party, Josh, and -- once again -- Happy Birthday, Danielle!

Labels: friends, oh l'amour