What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
(and remember, you can always e-mail me if you love or loathe anything you're about to read)...


   Thursday, November 08, 2007

   UGLY SCOTTY

Fearing that the models he hired wouldn't show up for fab's "holiday entertaining" photo shoot today, Paul wisely asked me, Matt and Nick the intern to come along as "background artists" (as Ricky Gervais calls them on Extras) or -- worst case scenario -- as models ourselves.

Which is exactly what happened. The two models didn't show, nor the third one Paul asked for just in case, nor the emergency fourth who was promised to arrive "in 20 minutes!!" (We won't be exactly leaping to use Velocci again!)

So I ended up sitting in a chair, getting made up (for the first time since doing high-school theatre) by the charming Gregory Graveline, who has not only worked his magic on Canadian Idol (gasp with me now!) but regularly charges $125 a face! I felt so exotic! He eased the bags under my eyes, assured me that I won't go bald as quickly as I think I will and left me looking ready to hold my own with the 20-year-old cute boys I'd brought with me.

If I'm sounding terribly vain by now, here comes the karma: first off, I may love my Chuck Taylor sneakers but no one else did. They had to go. I grumbled but Paul said I was "a meat-puppet" and would have to wear the shoes they gave me. Then I had to lose the tee I was wearing under my button-up shirt. Then I was moved to the back of the group, pretending to chat up Nick, and then it occurred to the photographer that everyone but me was wearing black and wouldn't it be great to have a more symmetrical look? A fine round of "you so ugly" jokes followed and I was soon sitting in the living room, while the shoot carried on without me.

So much for my modeling career!

But the host and cover subject made some gorgeous dark-chocolate almond brittle and insisted we all take some back with us and then I got an email from Rick Mercer mentioning that he liked the interview we did in September. Whew! My ego restored, I was able to get back to work. I will never be a supermodel but, even when I'm old and ugly (2009?), I'll still be clever (and I'll still have the almond brittle recipe)!

Labels: fab, homo-a-go-go, introspective, media, writing