In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog').
It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
(and remember, you can always e-mail me
if you love or loathe anything you're about to read)...
Monday, May 11, 2009
SAD BUT TRUE
Yes, with my tenure at the Xtra blog nearing its one-year anniversary, it's been a while since I wrote anything here on my own site but, in truth, life's okay these days -- I've little to process, ha ha.
But as Darcy and I begin dating in earnest yet again (third time's the charm!), my surprise and delight at it all is tempered just a little by the nagging, niggling worry that we're just each other's enabler. Drinking? No, worse!
Tonight was a case in point, with quotes as true as I can recall: ACT ONE: The telephone
DARCY (on phone): Hey, I'm heading downtown. Have you eaten yet? ME: No, I'm fighting this insane urge to walk down to the Burger King at the Eaton Centre. DARCY (excitedly): To get the new Star Trek glasses??? SCOTT: Oh God. You're not going to talk me out of this. DARCY: Why would I? Let's go! ACT TWO: Crossing Yonge and Dundas
DARCY: They said you could pay $7.50 for all four glasses instead of $1.99 each but no store has all four. How can they advertise that? SCOTT: Well, they want people to keep coming in and eating their crappy food every week. DARCY: I don't like it. SCOTT: We'll make them give us all four! I'll tell 'em it's a violation of Starfleet regulation 4702 dash 6-4-J stroke alpha...umm...subsection 12. Why, even an Orion slave trader would have...umm...better... [DARCY looks on in open-mouthed horror] SCOTT: Yeah, that's all I've got. Where's Dan Ackroyd when you need him? DARCY: Well, you're doing the talking when we get there. ACT THREE: At the counter
MANAGER (befuddled): All four? No, I'm sorry -- we only have these two. SCOTT: Kirk and Uhura. DARCY (opening backpack to reveal two "Nero" glasses): And these! I bought them up at Yonge and Eglinton! SCOTT: Amazing -- that just leaves Spock. DARCY: So it's The Search for Spock! SCOTT (laughing): Yes, the Search for Spock! ACT FOUR: At the plastic dinner table
SCOTT: I can't believe we travelled out of our way to have dinner at a Burger King. Still, these really are pretty -- hey, wait a minute...Uhura's glass has the USS Kelvin on the box. DARCY: So? SCOTT: Well, each character is paired up with their own ship, see? But Uhura never served on the Kelvin. She probably wasn't even born when it...oh God. DARCY: What? SCOTT: I'm Captain Sweatpants.