What's he on about now?

In case the articles, essays and opinions throughtout this site just weren't enough for you, here's my online diary (a.k.a. 'blog'). It's as close as you'll come to the inside of my head, so don't say I didn't warn you
(and remember, you can always e-mail me if you love or loathe anything you're about to read)...


   Wednesday, November 07, 2007

   THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

This evening, I discovered my New Favourite Thing Ever!
"You say that every week," says one friend of mine.
He's right.
Fine -- it's This Week's New Favourite Thing Ever:

The Midwest Teen Sex Show

Oh get your minds out of the gutter -- it's a PG-rated video podcast put together by Illinois' own Garth (the director), Britney ("just a smalltown girl, livin' in a lonely"...hey wait, that's Journey) and Nikol, "former expert practitioner of teen promiscuity, [now] a Midwestern mother of three"). They're trying to raise the bar on getting sensible sexual health information to teens while lowering the bar on tasteful sketch comedy. Pure gold!

MY sex education in high school merely consisted of a small, mustached little man hesitantly pointing a stick at an illustrated cutaway of the human torso on an overhead projector while mumbling, then a cheery black woman from the Board of Health who rolled a condom over a banana. That's about it. Thanks to that, I'm in my thirties and still think that doing it up the butt means I'm a virgin.

Yeah, okay, these midwest kids are funnier.
And they're hitting all the right topics, including:
Abstinence
The Older Boyfriend (creepy but necessary)
Birth Control
The First Time
and my obvious personal favourite:
Homosexuality in High School

Labels: America, evolution, health, homo-a-go-go, silliness

Far be it from me to weigh in on a debate that I know extremely little about (oh who am I kidding? It's never stopped me before) but I think it's time to settle a 72-year-old Middle Eastern debate: is it Iran or Persia?

That's an internal debate, of course -- ultimately, the good people of Iran will call themselves and their country whatever they want -- but it's a timely one because the US government is so very afraid of Iran right now. Despite abandoning the noble efforts to stabilize Afghanistan and despite the (is there a bigger word than catastrophe? debacle? fiasco?) in Iraq, Bush and Cheney are still beating those wardrums, scaring us with tales of WWIII and "the new Hitler" (the last one was Saddam Hussain, for those keeping track at home). It feels like this is all going to end badly.

So, I think one small way for Iranians to slow this train (assuming they can't easily replace their own scary President) would be to change the name of the country back to Persia. Iran sounds too much like Iraq for some people (I once heard someone say, "What's the difference?" Oh, it's a big one) and Persia as a concept still gets a lot of play in Western culture.

While 'Iranian' brings up notions of war and revolution and executions, 'Persian' makes us think of carpets and tea and kittens. Why, it could be the Grandmother to the World! Who'd want to beat up on a little old lady who feeds us dates and naan bread?

Persia -- it just sounds nicer.

Labels: America, George W Bush, Middle East, politics, silliness, war - what is it good for?

The Colbert Countdown will let you know the exact minute the "Best of" DVD arrives this Tuesday. Viral internet marketing in its purest, truthiest form!

Labels: media, politics, silliness, tributes, TV

After it tidily yet completely skewered the excesses of Torchwood, the UK sketch comedy show Dead Ringers offers a unique escape clause for failed Prime Minister Tony Blair:

Labels: Doctor Who, England, silliness, TV

I absolutely LOVE Dead Ringers. It's too bad there's nothing really comparable in terms of quality and content here in Canada...

-- Reply posted by  The Guy in DKNY at April 06, 2007

 

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Oh, to be in England with my unrequited love, Alistair Appleton. We could listen to Talking Heads together (see question 11), cook up a paella for dinner (courtesy of the hilarious hosts of Posh Nosh -- thanks to Gil for the intro!) and perhaps stay at one of the charming seaside inns.

Then again, better not. I made this little video to show how frightening it can be:

Labels: England, friends, oh l'amour, silliness, TV

...last summer, I wondered if the entire country wasn't insane.
Fortunately, this TV clip from 1978 lets me see just how much progress they've made!

Labels: comic books, insanity, Japan, silliness, the 70s, TV

ah the 70s what a time. Just passing through and thought I'd say hi.

-- Reply posted by  Brian FInch at March 03, 2007

 

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...yet completely perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. George Takei:

Labels: homo-a-go-go, silliness, TV

I do believe George has discovered how to "get a life" beyond Star Trek!

-- Reply posted by  Whisky Prajer at February 21, 2007

 

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This one goes to Josh and Darcy, fans of the respective shows -- the logo made me laugh out loud!

Labels: friends, silliness, TV

OMG!! My life has changed. I now understand everything. EVERYTHING!!!!!

-- Reply posted by  carguyto at February 09, 2007

 

My life too has changed!

-- Reply posted by  Brian FInch at February 10, 2007

 

Hey Amigo,

Check this out.

http://thetvaddict.com/2007/02/11/lost-secrets-revealed/

-- Reply posted by  4 weeks to go at February 13, 2007

 

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But it's not all ranting -- I've been bopping around town to the debut album by 24-year-old Mika -- Lebanese-born, British-raised and Freddie-Mercury-inspired. Life in Cartoon Motion sounds like its title -- it's pure giddy dance-pop, with a dizzying mix of styles and influences. This lead-off single "Grace Kelly" is one of the less-catchy tunes sung by this kid with a golden voice:

Labels: England, music, silliness

As a lifelong champion of The Silly, I think this clip is fantastic. Dan Savage has a point, however, when he asks, "Come on now -- could gay people do more harm to marriage than straight people already have?"



Speaking of Dan (my true love, if not for his husband, their son and a restraining order), he recently started snowboarding and his story is a delightful one.

Labels: homo-a-go-go, silliness

I hope that wasn't the groom doing all the show-boating. If it was, I can't help wondering if this marriage was such a good idea - svelt, supple guy with all the moves down cold. As Homer Simpson would say, "You gotta wonder."

-- Reply posted by  Whisky Prajer at February 07, 2007

 

There may be a man out there for me yet!!

-- Reply posted by  carguyto at February 07, 2007

 

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That line, right there, is reason enough to see this movie.

It's the funniest thing I've seen this week, along with (wow, again) Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock. His character was asked if he liked Phil Collins' music and he replied, "I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?"

That's just genius.

Labels: movies, silliness, TV

Despite once knowing a guy who insisted that government-sponsored flu shots were part of a grand science experiment on the public, I've faithfully taken one for the last few years. That guy was too paranoid -- even for me -- and I knew that the government's motives were more mercenary: the cost of flu shots is far less than the cost of nursing a public epidemic. Even with doubts as to their efficacy, I always got the shot.

This year, however, a packed work schedule combined with an apathetic 'oh, what's the worst that could happen' mentality and I skipped the shot. One week into the new year and I have been destroyed -- brought low by the worst thing I've had in years.

So yeah, I think the flu shot works.

This past week has been a nightmare of phlegm, no sleep, body pain, cough syrup, diarrea and...oh why go on? We've all been there.

If there's any bright spot, it's that my cover story on New York photographer Joe Oppedisano was already put to bed before I was, and I've certainly been able to catch up with what's on TV. I've been watching Dexter and The L Word and Nip/Tuck -- all them fascinating, clever and taboo-busting in various ways -- but I confess it's the sitcoms that have really helped me through this flu.

First up, I was able to track down 30 Rock, the new show from former Saturday Night Live headwriter Tina Fey, who also wrote the witty movie Mean Girls. As a parody of her former workplace, I expected her new show to be more snide but instead, it's like soda pop, sweet and fizzy like its adorable 50s-pop credits. The best thing about the show is that it's providing a solid showcase for the man-who-can-do-anything, Alec Baldwin. If Fey's aiming to be a 21st-century Mary Tyler Moore, Baldwin is playing Ed Asner and Ted Knight at once.

Of course, it also reminds me of the days when Fey and Baldwin first met -- he's always been great hosting SNL and this National Public Radio parody still makes me laugh out loud:



Meanwhile, there's the aforementioned How I Met Your Mother, a show that seems like a standard Friends clone until you realize that, with each week, it's getting smarter, funnier and stranger -- like this bit with the gang worried for Robin's little sister, followed by the now-nearly...wait for it...legendary "Slap Bet" episode where she reveals her dark Canadian secret:





Of course, if that's all just too silly for the rest of you, there's always the intense 24, a show I've long avoided, out of a belief that its politics and mine wouldn't get along. From what I'd heard, the show's hero was way too fond of using torture as a quick-and-simple way to foil terrorist plots (by that logic, the horrors of Abu Gharib should've ended the War on Terror by now) and the show is absolutely beloved by right-wingers. Last summer, the Heritage Foundation hired Rush Limbaugh to host a panel discussion called "24 and America's Image in Fighting Terrorism: Fact, Fiction, or Does it Matter?" "Does it matter?" What the hell kind of question is that? Oh wait...next week's seminar is "The Enemy at Home: The Cultural Left and Its Responsibility for 9/11." Never mind.

At any rate, all this had me avoiding a TV show that people have talked about for years, one that then won the big Emmy awards this year -- Best Drama, Best Actor. Meanwhile, in his Entertainment Weekly column, Stephen King echoed my misgivings about the show's "gleeful" use of torture while still calling it "the best thing on TV" so when the first four episodes started floating around the Internet this week -- in advance of this weekend's two-night, Sunday-Monday premiere -- the curiosity finally got to me:



Hours later, I can see exactly both why I resisted the show and why so many people love it. The opening episode hinges in part on whether or not the nice Muslim family down the suburban California street are terrorists. That's the kind of paranoic race-baiting that makes my teeth clench. Meanwhile, an innocent Muslim leader is unfairly detained (okay, some balance, I guess) but wait -- he uncovers part of the terrorist plot while in custody. You see? Locking him up was a good thing!

Yes, the underlying biases in 24 are unsettlingly fascist if you stop to ponder them but the reality is that the show never stops moving long enough to let you. I've never seen anything so relentless -- not on TV, not on film. Kiefer Sutherland is indeed terrific and the plot grabbed me in, held me there and then, at the end of episode four, threw out a truly-jaw-dropping climax to an hour that was already the most harrowing thing I'd seen on TV since the infamous car-jacking on Six Feet Under. Yep, I'm forced to admit it -- I'm hooked, dammit. I was already watching too much TV as it is!

Labels: Canada, fab, health, Orwell says hi, silliness, TV, writing

I can't help feeling somewhat responsible for this new addiction of yours - tacitly responsible, mind you. Beth & I devoured Season 1 of 24 when it appeared at our local video rental joint (yes, that would be "Brock Buster" - no kidding). We'd figured we could watch one episode a night, and fill out a pleasant month of our dwindling summer. Wrong! Four episodes into our first night of watching, my wife turned to me and said, "This must be what crack cocaine feels like."

Season One's political commentary was a clean fleece compared to what 24's writers are playing with now. As usual, John Doyle's take on it was probably the healthiest: the show is about office politics, and the rampant paranoia in the workplace.

Anyhow, I gave it up after Season 2 for the same reason I "quit" Battlestar Galactica: it's relentlessly grim, and it's never gonna end until you turn it off and leave it off.

Well, okay then.

-- Reply posted by  Whisky Prajer at January 12, 2007

 

I never get flu shots, and I've not had the flu in...well, years. Go figure.

Part of why I rarely watch any American dramas are because of the way that they condone things like torture. I'm hooked on Alias right now, because Space has been playing them in syndication (it's now at the end of season four--and that show is also like crack), but I find myself constantly asking a number of questions about it--like the acceptability of torture (which they have often employed), black ops groups, assassination, and American unilateralism in sovereign countries. Add to that, the underlying story-arcs deal with terrifying technologies that our heroes take from the bad guys and turn over to the US government week in and week out--where the government just kindly places them into storage and doesn't develop them for their own nefarious purposes. While I can suspend my disbelief about the whole Rambaldi mystery, I can't quite accept America's altruism so readily, and yet that seems to be an underlying message--that America is the world's policeman, and they only have everyone's best interests at heart, which we all know is not the case.

-- Reply posted by  The Guy in DKNY at January 12, 2007

 

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Somewhere between genius and insanity lies...Cat Head Theatre:

Labels: silliness

In all my TV-party glee yesterday, I never stopped to consider the lives of those without high-speed Internet. For them, YouTube is a torture. Hell, even my "ultra high-speed" service chokes up on them from time to time.

With that in mind, here's the links to the stuff I've posted lately:

Videos I've created

Thursday, September 22, 2006
Me and my little dog hit the streets

Doctor Who: 43 years, 10 Doctors, 5-and-a-half minutes
The greatest TV show ever, in a nutshell

Integral: Pet Shop Boys vs. Cybermen
The British government's ID scheme gets a sci-fi disco takedown

Videos I've posted

Pet Shop Boys: It's a Sin
live from the Hummingbird Centre, October 11

Nina Simone: Feeling Good
The way-cool promo for Six Feet Under season four

Nina Simone: If You Knew
A beautiful little gem

Stephen Colbert: The Word
Republican scandals explained with Russian dolls

Lily Allen: LDN
A delightful-yet-grim ode to London

Dane Cook: What men really want
It makes a kind of sense

Dancing
Where the hell is Matt?

D'Agostino supermarkets
Move closer!

Russell T. Davies on Torchwood
Starts Sunday! Can't wait!

Torchwood BBC 3 promo
Have I mentioned this?

Philip Olivier on Hollyoaks: In the City
It's not a crush, it's true love!

South Park: Trapped in the Closet
The boys take down Tom Cruise and the 'Church'

Jesus Camp
This lady keeps me up at night

The Daily Show: Tangled Up in Bleu
Jason Jones discusses gays in the military

Scissor Sisters: I Don't Feel Like Dancing
The '70s in a blender -- gorgeous!

Keith Olbermann: September 11th commentary
The man's on fire, and so very necessary

Labels: Doctor Who, England, MeTube, music, Pet Shop Boys, silliness, TV

Now if there was just some way to mash-up Tegan footage with the good Doctor...

BTW, I think I recognize the look on your face as you answer the phone (heh heh).

-- Reply posted by  Darrell Reimer at October 20, 2006

 

Cybermen and Pet Shop Boys! Simply delicious, Scott!

-- Reply posted by  Christos Tsirbas at October 20, 2006

 

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It took a while but I've grown to completely adore the South Park guys. The endless stream of lowbrow poop jokes and snide cheap shots left me cold until, after being exposed to enough of it, I began to see the sharp minds and warm hearts lurking behind the construction-paper animation.

This little highlight reel of last year's "Trapped in the Closet" episode makes me laugh out loud -- who knew such a cheap yet devastating takedown of Scientology could be kind of sweet?

Labels: religion, silliness, tributes, TV

The debut album from the Scissor Sisters was a gorgeous whirlwind of funk, disco and pop, all delivered with sassy flair and a big kiss to 70's-era Elton John. It did well in North America but was massive in the UK so expectations are high for their new second album which they drolly titled Ta-Dah.

I'm happy to say that I've been listening to it almost exclusively since Saturday and not only is nearly every song a delight, a couple of them have been growing on me since my first listen. The album is every bit as good as the first and the lead-off track, "I Don't Feel Like Dancing," is my favourite. It takes everything that was good about 70's music -- Elton John, country-pop, the Bee Gees, disco -- and compresses it all down to four minutes of pure giddiness! And the video is wildly strange:

Labels: music, silliness, the 70s

argh - until now the only thing to make me feel like dancing has been the girl in the blue dress using the LG steam-washer for a freshen-up. I should have known Your People would show up with a dancing solution that lasts longer than 30 seconds between Hockey: A People's History.

-- Reply posted by  Whisky Prajer at September 19, 2006

 

"My people" -- that still makes me laugh!

Actually, though, the video's sassy babe and hot drummer guy are both straight -- they're the B-52's of the new millennium!

-- Reply posted by  Scott at September 19, 2006

 

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I've never seen the TV series Weeds but this clip makes me wonder what the hell I'm missing. The wonderful Mary Louise Parker is a single mom who, in this bit, discovers her 12-year-old son has ruined the home's plumbing by flushing gym socks down the toilet. Her brother Andy steps in to counsel the kid and goes way above and too far beyond the call of duty:

Labels: silliness, TV

With all the comic book adaptations, 1970's remakes and new versions of bad TV shows in the movie theatres now, people are apt to say that Hollywood has run out of ideas.
Au contraire.

This summer, Samuel L. Jackson will star in a film so bold, so audacious in the faith of its own core concept that many are predicting it will rule the summer boxoffice.
It's Snakes on a Plane.

Now, I can't tell if that title signals the End of Civilization As We Know It or the funniest thing I've ever heard, but I have to admit that screenwriter Josh Friedman certainly gave it the hard sell:

I will not give away any of the plot details of SNAKES ON A PLANE. But know this. As the great Sam Jackson would say: There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

What else do you need to know? How the snakes get on the plane, what the snakes do once they're on the plane, who puts the snakes on the plane, who is trying to get the snakes off the plane...This is not for you to ponder. There are snakes on the plane. End of fucking story.

The movie opens on August 18th. There will be a plane. With snakes. Snakes on a Plane.
Sam Jackson is so convinced of its excellence that, while presenting an MTV Movie Award last week, he said:

I'm guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win Best Movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. New James Bond...no snakes in that! Ocean's 13...where my snakes at? Shrek the Third...green, but not a snake. No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called Mo' Mothafuckin' Snakes on Mo' Mothafuckin' Planes.

Easy there, Sam -- save some ideas for the sequel! Meanwhile, I'm crafting my own version: a film that's boldly personal yet truly terrifying. I'm calling it Terriers on a Sofa.

Labels: movies, silliness

I'm calling mine Zzzzzzz's on a Sofa.

-- Reply posted by  Whisky Prajer at June 16, 2006

 

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Everyone loves a funny mistaken-identity story and there's a doozy from Australia today.

The latest winner of "Australian Idol" (oy!) is 16-year-old Casey Donovan, who was honoured by the show's sponsors with a full-page ad in the national papers. "Big Touchdown!" the ad says, listing www.caseydonovan.com, but visitors to the girl's site discovered the works of Casey Donovan, star of the 1970's gay porn classic "Boys in the Sand".

A new ad will appear tomorrow with an apology and a link to the correct site, www.caseydonovan.com.au. Until then, I'll still be laughing over "Big Touchdown!"

Labels: Australia, homo-a-go-go, silliness

RAMBLINGS, NOT RANTINGS

So why so miserable last week? Probably something to do with coming home at 3 in the morning on Thursday to find a scribbled note from my roommate informing me that he won't be able to pay the rent this month or possibly ever. Later seeing the Woody's memo to all door staff informing us that, in effect, we really suck at our jobs didn't help either. Throw in the impossible workload dumped on me at the store all this week and it's obvious that I've been a giant ball of stress.

Thank God for Dad and Josie, who gave me the run of their place on Saturday night. They had to go to an anniversary gathering for some friends but it left me free to make some food, watch horror movies on the satellite dish and sleep on fluffier pillows. Why, it was practically a spa day!

Meanwhile, I was free to mull over my horrible roommate history and, as I do, turn misery into silliness. Thus, I give you:
88 Lines About 4.4 Roommates

Labels: family, silliness, working girl