The biggest lie ever to be foisted upon a moderately educated populace, namely the Internet, represents humanity's last hurrah. There is no doubt that the Internet will be the tool used to manipulate and extort the masses.

Much like rats munching on that flavoured strychnine, we're gobbling up the poison through the phone-lines, laying on our backs like silly hounds, waiting for the electronic highway to rub our over-satiated bellies.

Reassuring us all the way is the e-maestro, Gates himself. What was it he was saying recently? "I'm diddling with some ideas which will enable me to control every appliance in every household, including microwaves, E-Z chairs and hair curlers?" It was something like that wasn't it? Well, like we said, enjoy the moment of illusion, and keep pretending the Internet is good for everybody. Plant your googly eyes on the smokescreen and go forth like a li'l e- puppy. Clickety click goes the keyboard. Search your little e-pup hearts out. Made your e-million yet?

When you see monkeys in cages playing with mirrors and toys, does it remind you of something?

Maybe we should set up a mirror on all the monitors, so we can watch ourselves play, now that we can all type. It soothes our little egos to see computers reacting to our keystrokes.

Well, at least until the lights go out cause you owe Bill some money. Then you can kiss your e-business good bye. ...but we're not thinking about that right now, are we?

T'ill next time... keep clicking.

R. Hawthorne