• everyday experience suggests conflict can not be avoided in interaction with others

The Nature Of Conflict

• conflict is difficult to define: a struggle for mastery, a combat to overcome, active opposition, strife
• conflict involves opposing forces and differing objectives

Types of Conflict

Psychological Conflict (internal conflict)

• this type of conflict could be going on inside the person and no one would know ( instinct may be at odds with values)
• Freud would say unconscious id battling superego, according to Freud our personalities are always in conflict

Social Conflict

• interpersonal conflict- two individuals me against you; intergoup struggles -us against them;individual opposing a group- me against them, them against me; intragroup conflict- members of group all against each other on a task

Approach-Avoidance

• conflict can be describe as having features of approach and avoidance: approach-approach conflict; avoidance-avoidance conflict; approach-avoidance conflict

  Approach-Approach Conflict

  two desirable things are wanted, but only one option can be chosen ( example: desirable date Or ski trip)"I want this but I also want that."

  Avoidance- avoidance Conflict

  two unattractive alternatives ( example: study or do the dishes "I don't want his and I don't want that

  Approach- Avoidance Conflict

  attractive and unattractive parts to both sides "I want this but I don't want what this entails"

Functional vs Dysfunctional Conflict

Dysfunctional Conflict: when conflict disrupts, hinders job performance, and upsets personal psychological functioning

Functional Conflict: from an interactionist perspective conflict can be responsive and innovative aiding in creativity and viability. Determine if conflict achieves goals or undermines them

Benefits of Conflict- Opportunity not obstacle by David Johnson

• enables a person to become aware of problems in a relationship
• serves as catalyst for positive change
• energizes and motivates to deal with immediate problems
• stimulates interest and curiosity
• relieves minor tensions -cathartic
• causes decision to be made more carefully
• promotes self-knowledge
• clears the air of unexpressed resentments

Psychological Orientations to Conflict

Conflict orientation: we all display predispositions when faced with conflict; some approach, some withdraw;orientation involves beliefs and perceptions. (some see opportunity in conflict, some destruction; some want to face and resolve; some want to win )Our orientations change from situation to situation

Clayton Lafferty/Ronald Phillips 12 Individual Styles in 3 basic Orientations (1990)

Constructive Orientation to Conflict (Conciliatory,Pragmatic,Self-empowered, Relationship Building)
* conflict viewed as normal to achieve longer term
* those with constructive orientation are realistic
* pragmatic approach means feelings are expressed honestly and directly
* self worth is not associated with results of dispute
* those with this approach are self-empowered and internally centred (address difference with sensitivity and patience)
* they are conciliatory, well intentioned, work fairly and reasonably; looking for underlying needs and motivations, maintaining an objective perspective; diffusing and facilitating; value loyalty to relationship; few issues break bond of friendship

Passive-Defensive Orientation to Conflict (Accommodating, Avoiding, Insulating, Regulating)
* conflict not seen as normal and possibility generating but seen as a threat; they avoid getting involved by calming waters; belief is conflict is unnecessary and destructive
* they are accommodating giving in and doing as others ask; self-worth is measured by others acceptance and approval
*they try to insulate themselves from controversy feeling powerless in struggle; labeled as avoider denying conflict letting others resolve; appear loyal seeking dependent relationship with those more powerful
To improve they should: recognize value of conflict; state their interests; stand up for self; accept conflict exists

Aggressive- Defensive Orientation to Conflict (Perfectionistic, Competitive, Dominating, Escalating)
* this orientation escalates conflict; belief is that competence is key; a desire to put themselves above opponent to hide own inadequacies
*dominators seek high ground of power and authority "Might makes Right"
* conflict as a competition to gain or lose status -winning linked to self-worth
* perfectionism-setting unrealistic standards impossible for others
To improve: don't confuse force with power; separate self-worth from outcome; be fair; explore difference; accept less than perfect; respect others; accept feelings as facts

• the particular conflict strategy you use in any situation depends on how important goals and relationships are to you

• to be skilled in conflict management you should be skilled in all five strategies

• you have choice; styles are learned

LINK TO CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE ASSESSMENT

• Sharks use a forcing or competing conflict management style
• sharks are highly goal-oriented
• Relationships take on a lower priority
• Sharks do not hesitate to use aggressive behaviour to resolve conflicts
• Sharks can be autocratic, authoritative, and uncooperative; threatening and intimidating
• Sharks have a need to win; therefore others must lose, creating win-lose situations
• Advantage: If the shark's decision is correct, a better decision without compromise can result
• Disadvantage: May breed hostility and resentment toward the person using it
• Appropriate times to use a Shark style
  • when conflict involves personal differences that are difficult to change
  • when fostering intimate or supportive relationships is not critical
  • when others are likely to take advantage of noncompetitive behaviour
  • when conflict resolution is urgent; when decision is vital in crisis
  • when unpopular decisions need to be implemented

The Avoiding Turtle

• Turtles adopt an avoiding or withdrawing conflict management style
• Turtles would rather hide and ignore conflict than resolve it; this leads them uncooperative and unassertive
• Turtles tend to give up personal goals and display passive behaviour creating lose-lose situations
• Advantage: may help to maintain relationships that would be hurt by conflict resolution
• Disadvantage: Conflicts remain unresolved, overuse of the style leads to others walking over them
• Appropriate times to use a Turtle Style:
  • when the stakes are not high or issue is trivial
  • when confrontation will hurt a working relationship
  • when there is little chance of satisfying your wants
  • when disruption outweighs benefit of conflict resolution
  • when gathering information is more important than an immediate decision
  • when others can more effectively resolve the conflict
  • when time constraints demand a delay\

The Accommodating Teddy Bear

• Teddy bears use a smoothing or accommodating conflict management style with emphasis on human relationships
• Teddy bears ignore their own goals and resolve conflict by giving into others; unassertive and cooperative creating a win-lose (bear is loser) situation
• Advantage: Accommodating maintains relationships
• Disadvantage: Giving in may not be productive, bear may be taken advantage of
• Appropriate times to use a Teddy Bear Style
  • when maintaining the relationship outweighs other considerations
  • when suggestions/changes are not important to the accommodator
  • when minimizing losses in situations where outmatched or losing
  • when time is limited or when harmony and stability are valued

The Compromising Fox

• Foxes use a compromising conflict management style; concern is for goals and relationships
• Foxes are willing to sacrifice some of their goals while persuading others to give up part of theirs
• Compromise is assertive and cooperative-result is either win-lose or lose-lose
• Advantage: relationships are maintained and conflicts are removed
• Disadvantage: compromise may create less than ideal outcome and game playing can result
• Appropriate times to use a Fox Style
  • when important/complex issues leave no clear or simple solutions
  • when all conflicting people are equal in power and have strong interests in different solutions
  • when their are no time restraints

The Collaborating Owl

• Owls use a collaborating or problem confronting conflict management style valuing their goals and relationships
• Owls view conflicts as problems to be solved finding solutions agreeable to all sides (win-win)
• Advantage: both sides get what they want and negative feelings eliminated
• Disadvantage: takes a great deal of time and effort
• Appropriate times to use an Owl Style
  • when maintaining relationships is important
  • when time is not a concern
  • when peer conflict is involved
  • when trying to gain commitment through consensus building
  • when learning and trying to merge differing perspectives

Seven Steps to Constructive Conflict Resolution Using the Collaborative Style (Johnson)

1. Confront the Opposing Party

• let other party know of conflict by expressing your view and feelings and invite other party to do same
• the stronger or more solid the relationship the more forceful the confrontation may be
• if other party displays high anxiety and low motivation them avoid conflict

2. Define the Conflict Together

• define conflict in agreeable way, fairly, objectively to avoid defensiveness
• arrive at common definition of problem avoiding insults and negative value; be clear and specific; describe feelings; reflect back; control passions

3. Communicate Personal Positions and Feelings

• keep lines open; know the other's position; understand their point
• seek to uncover what differences are
• look for common ground
• what does each have to do to resolve conflict

4. Express Your Cooperative Intentions

• make it clear that you don't want to undermine relationship
• state desire to work together for a mutually agreeable solution
• show optimism-the net effect will be stronger bond

5. Understand the Conflict from the Other Party's Viewpoint

• do not ignore or fail to recognize perspective of others
• see the situation fro their view

6. Be Motivated to Negotiate in Good Faith

• be motivated by good intentions

7. Reach an Agreement

• win-win means everybody satisfied

Source: Mastering Human Relations 3rd Edition, A Falikowski, 2002. Pearson Education

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