Perception and The Self

WHAT I SEE DEPENDS ON ME

"The essence of genius is to know what to overlook." William James

• mastering perception is key to human relations
• requires awareness of physical and social

How do we perceive?

-->gather info--->experience-->give meaning, attribute motives, intentions--> form impression-->learn about self, others, world

Historical Overview Knowledge/Perception

1. John Locke -Empiricist--- "We are blank slate" TABLA RASA

-the mind experiences only what experience presents-all knowledge product of experience -human is passive-receptive -we experience people situations as Òout thereÓ -to behaviourism

2. Rationalist Thinkers- reason not experience is source of knowledge

experience can be deceiving, optical illusions -circumstantial evidence can convict

-experience can't provide absolute certainty -look to reasoning/thought process

3. Interactionist Theory of Knowledge (Kant, Piaget)

- a combination of reason and experience both lead to knowledge

THE CONSTRUCTION OF PERSONAL & SOCIAL REALITY

• Perception of self and others is active
• experience of reality is a Construction not a recording

Your mind constructs from own source

• Perception is an active process that involves CATEGORIES

CATEGORIES- concepts, mental structures -when looking at fuzzy concept mind's eye tries to arrange a fit into our own knowledge box -categories are largely a product of socialization

-some categories are innate ( space, time, number causality)

• most categories handed down by family, culture, friends, social institutions
• we see what we are conditioned to see
• no 2 people have identical perceptual categories

What are perceptions influenced by?

Individual's Unique Perceptual Filter :

PERCEPTION = SELECTING, ORGANIZING & INTERPRETING

A. SELECTING

• our mind limits what we attend to
• we tend to choose sensory data /message that we agree with or which is meaningful
• register positive comment of those we like, negative of those we don't like ---rest--> don't notice
• personal history determines
• if your focus growing up was on being hardworking-- you notice that
• if appearance was focus--you focus on that

B. ORGANIZING --TYPES

1. Enlarging- put words or experiences into larger context to understand -look for frame of reference to make sense eg. ambiguous comment-look to nonverbal , tone, what previously said, mood

2. Simplifying- take notes, summarize

3. Closing/closure- fill in gaps eg. 3 dots-->triangle

C. INTERPRETING

-give meaning to information--> evaluate, conclude -respond appropriately and predict future -Identification & Evaluation eg. loud noise at night ---decide right/wrong

HOW I SEE THE WORLD IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

If perception is constructive we are responsible for construction

-others may have influenced us but as adult we can change (learn, experience, choice) -we can modify or reject categories If we don't like what we see in "self" this affects SELF-ESTEEM, WORLD VIEW, COMMUNICATION --MESSAGE AND RESPONSE

COMMON PERCEPTUAL ERRORS THAT DISTORT VISION/INTERACTION

1. Stereotype

• individual is as unique as fingerprint
• lumping together leads to incorrect judgment
• eg."men lack feelings" "feminist hates men" " Canadians eat bacon"
• stereotype damages personal relationships function of stereotype-to simplify information
• selectivity-- we look for information to confirm stereotype

2. Self-fulfilling Prophecy

"prophecy is oftentimes the cause of events foretold"

• you predict then behave as if true
• eg. people don't like me--then act that way
• can be positive self-fulfilling for +ve effect

3. Halo-effect

• form a general impression based on 1 aspect
• eg. John is energetic, eager and (intelligent, unintelligent)
• you may see qualities that aren't there may ignore bad
• are you witnessing your assumption or reality?
• also reverse halo

4. Attribution Error

• Do we attribute things to internal or external cause
• Internal Bad mood--> explosive behaviour
• external previous event--> explosive behaviour
• Internal (traits, abilities, feelings)
• External (situation,environment)

  Actor/observer difference

• exam failed actor-external ---> noise in room, bad test

• observer-internal--> poor study skill, not smart

• exam passed ---actor-internal observer--external

• Be careful of self-serving bias

5. Proximity

• physical/psychological closeness
• from distance person may appear beautiful but closer not
• if attitude close to own better
• In a Movie -photographer notices lighting, angle in but a movie actor may notice acting
• we bring our own mind set

6. Role Definition

"all the world's a stage and we are merely players"

• we have many roles: student, teacher, wife, brother, friend
• roles affect needs, attitudes, expectations, beliefs
• Aggressive male--> self-willed Aggressive female--> domineering, B

HOW TO AVOID PERCEPTUAL ERRORS

1. AVOID HASTY CONCLUSIONS

2. TAKE MORE TIME PATIENCE

3. BE AVAILABLE--LISTEN--SEE OTHER VIEW

4. COMMIT SELF-SEEK INFO BEFORE JUDGMENT

5. CREATE PROPER CLIMATE -IS IT OK TO SAY

6. MAKE ADJUSTMENTS-BE PREPARED TO CHANGE

SELF CONCEPT

-poor self concept--> you are worst enemy

• undesirable, unattractive--> becomes true
• are we one self or many? ---private, social, ideal
• what do you tell people about yourself?--that is what they will know -
• self awareness

JOHARI WINDOW (LUFT AND INGHAM '55)

OPEN SELF

• all know name, gender, preferences-what you choose

BLIND SELF

• others see we can't see -our quirks

UNKNOWN SELF

• neither you nor others know
• unconscious
• untapped resources--> key to self and interaction with others

HIDDEN SELF

• you know but don't share
• personal boundaries
• self disclosure--> smaller hidden self
• The size of boxes can vary

HOW TO INCREASE SELF AWARENESS

1. Adopt the perspective of others-see self through others eyes

2. Create a list of your attitudinal, behavioural and perceptual tendencies

How do you orient to people? What do you look for when perceiving them? How do you act as a result?

3. Pay close attention to others with whom you interact-they serve as mirror to self-look for verbal/non verbal clues that may provide insight to self

4. Increase openness to others -size of blind self can be reduced if you allow others to know you better -listen to what others say about you--aware

SELF DISCLOSURE RISKS /BENEFITS

self-disclosure=intentional act of revealing information about self to others-something new not known -information may be significant/trivial

• some self disclosure may be unconscious/unintentional (non verbal--true feelings-body language -tone
• best self disclosure is under personal control
• self disclosure is not indiscriminate frankness
• it's sharing self in way that respects others feelings rights sensitivities

  RISK

• you are exposed
• they know how to hurt you
• fear of rejection
• loss of support
• Image protect /change "If I tell, I paint a picture of me I don't like"

  BENEFITS

• open doors to others
• understanding---> closer/intimate-friends share care
• people who self disclose show good mental health -often better immune system

GUIDELINES TO SELF-DISCLOSURE

don't spill beans to stranger-- think first

1. examine and evaluate Intentions -what is my motivation? to enhance a relationship? revenge? will it cause hurt?

2. Think about appropriate amount of self-disclosure relational satisfaction= moderate self disclosure -both prepared to take risks can be too much or too little disclosure

3. Pick your spots- time, place, person

4. Pay attention to other's self disclosure-2 way street

5. Be prepared to live with what you reveal -reveal what you are prepared for can't take it back

Listen and Respond to others self disclosure

1. Pay close attention

2. Suspend judgment

3. Reflect back what they said

4. Remember disclosure

5. Listen with honesty-keep private

6. Reassure and support

7. reciprocate with appropriate disclosure

SELF-ESTEEM

• emotional affective component
• we have different perception of self but we make value judgment based on perceptions
• eg I'm short--- what does it mean/ value? shrimp? CUTE?
• self-esteem doesn't mean egoism- not self glorification
• over boastful may have low self esteem
• compare self? education money grades fashion --what is personal aspiration?
• set realistic goal to attain step by step
• gender and sex definitions -study women in college same grades as men but self-esteem lower aspiration lower

HOW TO ENHANCE SELF ESTEEM

1. Engage in positive affirmations -positives, attributes, possible

2. Surround self with supportive people nourish soul--energy

3. Set realistic goals go after achieve, build upon success

4. Disregard counterproductive irrational beliefs (can't please everybody-one bad not end)

5. Change your presentation of self (communicate more positively about self -value self-energy, enthusiasm, interest, fun)

Source: Mastering Human Relations 3rd Edition, A Falikowski, 2002. Pearson Education

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