Resolutions For Moms


 
 1.  When I forget to go to the grocery store,
I will not boil the macaroni  necklaces
my children made for me in preschool.



2.  When I hear one of my children wake
in the middle of the night,
I will  run upstairs to supervise before
he pees in the sink, or the potted plant,
 and then creeps into the bathtub
to return to sleep.



 3.  I will pack the kids' lunch boxes
the night before so I don't throw
in a  slab of frozen lasagna
as they're running for the bus. 
"It'll defrost by lunch. 
If not, you can suck it like an ice pop."



4.  I will resist the urge to explain to strangers
why my son is wearing  winter boots,
a bathing suit bottom,
and an inside-out and backward pajama top. 
I will be grateful to the child that dresses himself.



 5.  I will not tell my children that the Play-Doh
dried up just because I  don't feel like
cleaning up after they use it,
even though I know it means
 I'll spend the evening
harvesting colored stuff
from the carpet fibers,
 chair cushions and my eyebrows.



 6.  I will always protect the rights of my children,
especially their right  to remain silent.



7.  I will learn to accept the outbursts
and tantrums as a part of life.
 After all, I promised to love my husband
for better or worse.



 8.  When my husband and I go to
a restaurant without the kids,
I will not  roll up his sleeves
or move the knives from his reach. 
I will not accompany  him to the bathroom
and remind him to wash his hands with soap.
If my husband wants dessert at the end of the meal,
I will not tell him  it depends on his behavior.



 9.  When I'm tired of hearing
"mommieeeeee!"
a thousand times each day,
I will change my name to something
they are less likely to repeat incessantly, like
 "Please pass the broccoli"



10.  I will develop an ability to have
a conversation with an adult
that doesn't revolve around labor pains
or children's toilet habits.
  I will feel  comfortable in the silence
that ensues when neither of us can think
of any  other topic to discuss.



 11.  I will be more flexible about children's
nutritional requirements
by  counting the green crayon as a vegetable.



12.  When my children beg for a pet,
I will buy hutches and let them name
 the dust bunnies
that have multiplied under their beds.



13.  I will repeat the phrase...

"You'd better listen because
I will not repeat  myself"

as many times as necessary
for my children to actually notice
that I  have spoken.



 14.  When my kids are older,
I will explain why they never have
any chocolate candy left
after Mommy and Daddy
"check" their Halloween bags.



15.  I will be a good, fair and
loving parent to our children. 
I will  provide them with enriching
experiences and opportunities.

  I will give them a solid foundation
on which to build a  useful life.

 After all, these are the people who will eventually
choose my nursing  home.



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