Sunday Knews!!!  
(real Church typos...).

1. Don't let worry kill you.
   Let the church help.
   
   
   
   

2. Thursday night-potluck supper.
   Prayer and medication to follow.
   
   
   
   

3. Remember in prayer the many who are
   sick of our church and community.
   
   
   
   

4. For those of you who have children
   and don't know it,
   we have a nursery downstairs.
   
   
   
   

5. The rosebud on the alter this morning
   is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer,
   the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julie Belzer.
   
   
   
   

6. This afternoon there will be a meeting
   at the south and north ends of the church.
   Children will be baptized at both ends.
   
   
   
   

7. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social.
   All ladies giving milk please come early.
   
   
   
   

8. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.
   Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed"
   accompanied by the pastor.
   
   
   
   

9. Thursday at 5 PM will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
   All wishing to became Little Mothers,
   please see the minister in his private study.
   
   
   
   

10. This being Easter Sunday,
    we will ask Mrs. Lewis
    to come forward
    and lay an egg on the alter.
    
    
    
    

11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water".
    One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest
    of the congregation will join in.
    
    
    
    

12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken
    to defray the cost of the new carpet.
    All those wishing to do something on the new carpet
    will come forward and get a piece of paper.
    
    
    
    

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing
    of every kind and they may be seen
    in the church basement on Friday.
    
    
    
    

14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday
    evening in the hall.
    Music will follow.
    
    
    
    

15. At the evening service tonight,
    the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    
    
    
    

16. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM
    at the First Presbyterian Church.
    Please use large double doors
    at the side entrance.
    
    
    
    

17. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat
    will be hell May 10 and 11.
    
    
    
    

18. Pastor is on vacation.
    Massages can be given to church secretary.
    
    
    
    

19. Eight new choir robes are currently needed,
    due to the addition of several new members
    and the deterioration of some older ones.
    
    
    
    

20. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital
    this week for testes.
    
    
    
    

21. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
    who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
    
    
    
    

22. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alanin preparing for the girth of their first child.
    
    
    
    

23. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles,
    and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    
    
    
    

24. The associate minister unveiled the church's new
    tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
    "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."
    
    
    
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