A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,
was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking,
"Which virgin was the mother of Jesus?
The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted
"Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife,"
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,
Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime,
she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us some e-mail
Amen,"
One Sunday in a Midwest City,
a young child was "acting up"
during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew
but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up
and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer,
the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"
And one particular four-year old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who
put trash in our baskets."
A minister would up the services one morning by saying,
"Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars.
And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse,
I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday,
the preacher rose to begin, and said,
"Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested
and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark,
please raise your hands."
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Then said the preacher....
"You are the people I want to talk to.
There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children,
as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, " Because people are sleeping."
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike
and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform,
jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord
and nearly tripping therefore jerking it again.
After several circles and jerks,
a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
I was thinking about........
How people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me
..... they're cramming for their finals!
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