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Core Belief Engineering
Articles
By Lisa Sidorowicz, B.A., M.A.,
B.Ed., Certified Practitioner and Instructor
Worry
In my experience as a Core Belief Engineering practitioner, I have found
that worrying is probably the most universal form of self-sabotage in existence.
It is a negative, fear-based, self-destructive mind-set. Focused on problems,
it projects perceived limitations of self into the future and answers the
question, "What if?" with predictions of dire circumstances.
Chronic worrying not only generates unease, anxiety, and fear, but can
also limit clear thinking and perception, block creativity, and result
in inefficiency and inaction. Despite the fact that many people are aware
that worry is wasted mental energy, they often continue to worry because
they perceive it to be beneficial on some level.
Worrying typically has its roots in outdated protective strategies adopted
in childhood. Some people began worrying as children as a form of hyper-vigilance,
usually arising from an emotionally unstable family environment. Worry
may also have been used to envision possible future scenarios in order
to prevent, avoid, or protect from unpredictable negative experiences.
These strategies are fundamentally grounded in childhood feelings of powerlessness,
self-doubt, and lack of self-confidence in one's ability to deal with life.
Worrying may also have been employed as a strategy to protect against the
rejection and hurt associated with making mistakes. In childhood, some
people were humiliated, blamed, or punished when they made an error. They
did not learn that mistakes can be a part of growth and change. Rather,
they learned to associate making mistakes with experiencing pain. As a
result, worrying may have been developed as an attempt to avoid making
future errors.
As children, some people subconsciously internalized their parents' worried
mind-sets and beliefs. When John was young, his parents worried constantly,
and he subconsciously adopted their anxious perspective as his own. The
behaviour modeled by his parents led him to believe that thinking and worrying
were synonymous. Jane came to see me to address her feelings of constant
agitation at work. In her session, she discovered that her demanding father
had only believed she was trying hard at her homework when she appeared
to be worrying about it. As a result, she had subconsciously equated worrying
with trying her best, and this limiting belief had been manifesting ever
since.
Worry is so universally pervasive that many people take it for granted
as a normal part of who they are. Upon conscious reflection, many of my
clients report that more than half of their waking hours are consumed by
worry. They also find that their sleep is disturbed by worry-filled dreams.
No wonder they typically report feeling fatigued and worn out! Compulsive
worrying is mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausting.
Not only can worry snowball into nervousness, anxiety, and even depression,
it can also manifest physiologically in symptoms such as compromised immune
function, insomnia, fatigue, headaches, body tension, teeth grinding, nail
biting, and increased blood pressure. Constant worrying can interfere with
one's ability to think clearly, inhibit decision-making, and tie up inner
resources such as creativity (used to concoct many possible future scenarios),
analysis (used to interpret these scenarios), and concentration (required
to focus on these scenarios), etc.
Although worrying can be self-defeating and destructive, it often persists
unabated because many people consciously and/or subconsciously believe
that worrying is beneficial. One easy way to reveal your beliefs about
worrying is to consider what you think would happen if you stopped worrying.
Common responses I hear as a CBE practitioner are, "If I didn't worry,
it would mean I was cold and callous and didn't care about my family"
or "If I didn't worry, I would just let everything go and my life
would be chaotic."As these examples indicate, worrying has been falsely
equated with being loving, caring, responsible, and in control. Worrying
has also been mistaken for planning, problem-solving, analyzing, learning,
and self-improvement. In truth, however, worry is none of the above. Worry
is simply worry.
Chronic worrying is symptomatic of underlying limiting beliefs and deeply
held automatic patterns entrenched in the subconscious mind. When these
fear-based beliefs are healed, self-confidence, creativity, and self-trust
are restored. All of the personal talents, abilities, and qualities that
have been blanketed by worry can be liberated, making it possible for people
to think more clearly, see more options, experience being more in command
of themselves, and live more fully. Freed from the emotional and mental
burdens of worrying, people can embrace the present and face the future
with greater inner security, knowing they can rise to any occasion, come
what may.
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