2. LEAN ON ME
Lisa, 17 writes, "I want to die. It's something I think about everyday."
No doubt, some readers visiting this web site may be contemplating suicide. Scores of books have been written on teenage suicides and suicide prevention. Still, it is not as uncommon as people would like to believe.
Lisa continues to say, "I'm pretty passive about the whole thing. I think about dying because it just seems easier than going through day after day of the same pains and s---. I just want it all to be over."
Not all teenagers feel the same way about suicide.
Joe, 13, writes, "I don't know why anyone would commit suicide. Is it because they aren't strong enough to make the right decisions? They are only thinking about themselves. Don't they have any goals in their life?"
Jiyong, 18, believes "while society condemns suicide," movies and books glorify suicide and make it appealing for teens: "People adore Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and admire their love and courage to die for one another. Ditto for Anthony and Cleopatra."
If you are contemplating suicide:
Talk to someone who will really listen to you: a parent, a friend, someone from your religious institution, a teacher, a doctor. If you can't talk to any of them, call up the crisis center. You might find it easier to talk to someone who does not know you. Speaking to someone at a crisis center might give you a more objective perspective. Rmember, these people are qualified and there to help you.
Pick up a pen and write. Quite often, our thoughts are in a chaotic state while inside our head. By writing out your thoughts, you can put order to the chaos. Write down all the words that flow from within. Start with "I feel..." or make out a list of all that is good in your life.
Do something. When we're depressed, we often isolate ourselves and get lost even further inside ourselves. This can be dangerous as our minds can feed even darker messages to ourselves. By getting out and engaging in activities, we are able to separate ourselves, temporarily, from the problem. This might be just what you need to place your problem in perspective. When in a better head space, you are in the position to think more clearly and rationally.
After two failed suicide attempts, Cheyenne, writes "It gets better. Hang on. I tried to end my life because the pain was too unbearable and no one could really help or understand. But some how I survived through it all." At 28, she says, "I am at a place I never dreamed I could be at. I feel calmer and more at peace with myself. Maybe it's with getting older or the fact that my body has fought so hard to stay alive. I realize too that people who know pain are the ones who can really make a difference to other people - because they truly understand what it means to hurt."
If a friend approaches you and discloses his or her wish to die, don't minimize his or her feelings. It does not help friends to hear that they should not be feeling a certain way because, as far as you can see, they have no "real" reason to be so upset.
You might recognize signs that lead you to believe your friend is contemplating suicide. Just before one of my friends tried to take her life, she joked about writing out her will and gave away her personal belongings. At the same time, I noticed a change in her moods.
It is important for you to recognize that you cannot and need not be able to solve all the problems at hand. You should show your concern and ask whatever questions you feel might help you assiss the situation at hand.
While letting your friend know you care, encourage him or her to speak to a professional who is qualified to help. There are several people he or she can talk to: friends, family members, a doctor, someone from their religioius institutions, teachers, and consellors. If an individual prefers to speak with somone he or she doesn't know, encourage him or her to call the crisis center and speak with someone qualified to help.
Don't make promises to keep secrets. If you feel your friend is at risk, you must tell someone. Your main goal is to help your friend stay alive and get help.
Let your friend know you'll always be there.
Don't stop here.
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