Angst night. Not so much that as anger, come to think of it. Went to a rooftop BBQ tonight, and was pretty happy about the concept, partially because I'd get to see and hang out with people, and partially because I could see if the previous night's pattern with my pseudo relationship would continue.
Answer?
Well, I'm angry, right?
I often wonder why I do this to myself. I mean, I knew on Tuesday that this would be a mistake. A near impossible situation. Another reason to get angry with someone I like, most times. I told him though. I told him if he ignored me (or iced me, in Mike's parlance) again, I would be angry. Apparently it was not sufficiently clear that this would be the last straw. And it's a damn shame, really.

Perhaps I have too great a faith in people I like. A belief that they can change. Taking Jim back was proof positive of this belief… and this involvement too. Sane people run when they see a pattern forming. As Sarah L. said on Friday, while munching eggs and a bagel, "You can't get involved with someone who runs every time you're intimate." One shouldn't continue that…(ahem) intimacy when the pattern has been formed. But when one is rather weak when it comes to those things… they tend to happen.
Silliness.

I had some coffee down on Queen today (Changeling LARP meeting… quick and painless) and ate a Chicken Kebab at the BBQ. Good wine, and some half decent conversation… despite my getting someone into trouble for smoking (doh! Accident!) and my barely concealed anger. Sitting in the back of the van was fun, on the way home. Steadily growing tension, and Laine's SO chattering on, oblivious. Both roomies were quite aware of it. I feel badly for that… I really don't like getting people caught in the middle.
Mike pointed out, that with our group, it was near impossible to not be involved. True enough.

I met someone last night, only for a few minutes. Maybe I was feeling disillusioned, maybe it was the perennial something else, but I was under the impression the conversation would have gone well if it had been able to progress. Maybe not. But I have the odd urge to track the person down. I think it's too stalker like for my tastes though.