Still angry, though somewhat deflated. I really don't know how to feel, other than the..."I told you so" that Mike wants to say and I'm thinking.
It's done with, and over. I think I'm more sad about the fact that it won't happen.

It's the might-have-been that floats about, haunting you everytime you see the person, and they look good... or the next time you see them with someone else. I should be more angry. I got the same line as before. But I think I've realized that, quite simply, I do this to myself. So basically, I have to stop.

This all went down after my spectacularly mundane day of dropping off ye olde EI forms, watching TV, and heading out to storytell my Changeling Live Action game, after dressing and making myself up spitefully. "If I'm gonna hear this again, I may as well look good, goddamn it."
(snicker)
I did the CLARP thing, with the boys, and it went okay, though the boys and I kept having confabs about the state of game at the "bar" we use to register people. The players seemed rather unconcerned with this. In fact, they seem unconcerned with alot of things.
Okay...so that's not entirely fair. We have a rather small game, so there isn't enough people to spread out the factions, those being: The Let's-Just-Sit-And-Talk faction, the Slay-The-Dragon faction, and the Figure-Out-The-Plot faction. Due to this, things are at a crawl, and seeming stagnant. To the ST team, anyway. I suggested a survey, but Dave went on a marketing kick, explaining why it wouldn't work, so we decided on talking to the players individually.
I often wonder how good I am at this, and I'm feeling a bit badly for being a bit of a bitch to KwikDraw of late. I'll have to talk to him.
Game went well for a bit, but died early. I saw Jesse downstairs, and thought perhaps I should get it over with. I did.
There's not alot to be said about it, really. It didn't go well, and then I headed home, buying Cookie Dough Dynamo on the way. I was relegated to my room in short order, so Mike could run a prelude for yet another person in the ever-expanding Marvel game.
I think Mike is going to wear himself a bit thin with this whole thing. Overseeing two to three teams of young mutants could get annoying, and I don't even want to imagine scheduling the gaming sessions. Especially if he holds them all here. Gah! Having to hide in here while tons of people are saving the world, and waiting a week for my turn!
I'm such a geek sometimes.

In the cold light of the monitor, it's difficult to tell whether I backed down, or attempted not to fault Jesse for saying something that I knew, and that made sense.
I can't get mad at him for long. I've tried. There's something about him that draws me in. I guess if we both try to stop it, it will stop.
There is something sad about that, isn't there?

4:44 am
Odd. I checked my mail, and saw that The Fray had a new story, and a new question: "When have you had enough?"

I've snapped and lost my temper a few times, but can't remember one single time where I said, "Alright. That's it!"
Timing is everything