Words to live by?
	
69 Ways to Make Mata Hari Burn With Envy:
Read this magazine (see? You're on the right track). 
Drink coffee (just discovered it's a known aphrodisiac. I knew there was a
reason I felt justified in drinking so much of
it). 
Sing in the car while driving. 
Paint your toenails blood red. 
Eat lots of succulent fruits. 
Exercise: a toned muscle is a responsive muscle. 
Whistle at sexy people you see on the street. If you can't whistle, call
out "You sexy thing!" or some other similar quip. 
Pick up the sexy people you whistle at. 
Drink kiddy cocktails at bars. 
Learn to tie the cherry stem from your kiddy cocktail in a knot with your
tongue (I can give instruction if needed, just
ask). Give the stem to a bystander (hey... I know someone who forever kept
one I gave him). 
Fall in love. 
Do number 10 repeatedly. 
Wear great underwear, even under scuzzy clothes. In lieu of having great
underwear, either shop for some, or don't
wear any, also... 
Go without underwear under skirts. Ah, those tickling breezes... 
Only sleep with people you find tremendously attractive. If you can't... 
Fantasize about people you find tremendously attractive while sleeping with
someone less so. 
Maintain eye contact with someone whose head is nestled between your legs. 
Eat whatever you want to. 
Sing in the car with feeling. 
Wear lip balm that tastes yummy. Lick it off. 
Let other people taste your lip balm. :) 
Masturbate shamelessly. 
Flirt with people you aren't supposed to. 
Go to your local art museum and look at nude paintings. Take some time to
notice the voluptuous variety of milky skin
there. 
Garden - get some mud between your toes. 
Go skinny dipping at night. If you take a partner, it'll be really juicy.
if you don't, you'll find one fairly quickly. 
Take your vitamins. 
If you don't like taking vitamins, try taking them with tequila shots. 
Stand outside in a rainstorm. 
Wear red lipstick. Leave some on someone's collar. 
Throw away that ratty chenille robe. Get a silk kimono. 
While you're at it, ditch the nasty slippers too. Walk in bare feet. 
Don't even talk to me about curlers. 
make obscene phone calls to lovers. 
For the truly adventurous, make obscene phone calls to someone you know you
shouldn't, who is completely off limits.
Kiss a lot. 
Learn to laugh.If you're in the closet, come out. 
If you don't think you're in the closet, you probably are. :) Come out. 
Buy toys. No, not super-soakers. You know what I'm saying. 
Have a body secret you share with no one but lovers: a tattoo, a piercing,
a scar, etcetera. 
Have great shoes. Throw out those stupid flats you still have from 1982
with the leather appliqués. 
Back-seamed fishnets. That's all I need to say. 
Keep rope by the bed. 
Keep chocolate syrup by the bed. 
Keep by the bed, period. Whenever possible. 
Screw in fun places. 
Indulge a bizarre sexual fantasy (if you can't choose, that may be a sign
you need some help). 
Stop calling your cunt "down there". It's a cunt, a twat, a pussy, a
vagina, a honey-pot, a love-bucket, whatever, but
give it a title. Have some pussy-pride. 
Drink someone under the table. Then drag them home. :) 
Find at least five things you worship on your body. 
Make someone else worship them accordingly. 
Blow big pink bubbles with gum. 
Pinch your own nipples. 
Pinch someone else's nipples. 
Play x-rated charades. 
Do a strip tease. Better yet... 
make someone else do one for you. Put a dollar in their pants. 
Read good, wholesome smut. 
Kill your television. 
Have sex sometimes just to have sex. Be primitive. 
Learn to moan like you mean it. Stop faking orgasms: honesty is a great
aphrodisiac. 
Wake up the neighbors. 
Eat pomegranates. 
Keep whipped cream on hand at all times. 
Have a sexual exchange in public. Don't feel guilty. 
Avoid fluorescent lighting. 
Learn to love your ass. 
Get the hell off the computer and go get down. :)