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Wednesday, September 30th, 1998... 6:34 pm.

listening to: The Wallflowers: "Bringing Down the Horse"


So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees 

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place 

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me and Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight 

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge 

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me and Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight 

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine and cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me 

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me and Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight 

Tyler's lying on my bed, eyes closed, next to Squid, the little black cat. Squid's sleeping, his day of evil obviously tiring.
Jakob Dylan's singing, and his voice surrounds me like so much smoke. The only sounds are my typing, and that voice.
I need to take a shower soon, and we're going to go see "Rounders" and grab some food, maybe. Tomorrow, we'll go see Stacy at the Gypsy Co-Op...maybe go see Casa Loma.
The other week, we saw Nelson Mandela at Skydome, admist tons of school kids. A once in a lifetime experience... He turned to me as we waited, and said, "When we met, I thought; She's in Canada and I'm here...it's really too bad. Now we're here, waiting for Nelson Mandela."
Life works out in strange ways.
He's playing with the cat, who seems to be tolerating it at the moment. I like having him here. I like waking up and seeing his blue eyes just after I open mine.
I think the house is moving. I think we're giving notice tomorrow. Mike said, last night, that something needs to happen. He's right.
There's got to be something better than in the middle.
It's been a good week. It's going to be a good weekend, and though I'll miss him, next week will be good too. The leaves are beginning to turn, and I feel like nothing that bad can happen right now. Perhaps it's his proximity that makes me feel so safe, but I'd rather think that things are beginning to change...

I need to get ready to go.