Viewfinder
By Dr. George
Sitting at home, playing around on the computer, I was overcome with an urge to get high, to trip, to alter reality
psychedelically with absolutely anything I could. I love psychedelics, so I didn't question this at all (yet). I
thought over the psychedelic contents of my drug briefcase - a couple dimes of weed (which, for various reasons, I
was definately not going to smoke) and a bag of dried Salvia Divinorum leaves. Normally, I don't even consider
Salvia, but I thought about it this time. It appealed to me. So I went and got out my briefcase and was about to
open it when I stopped myself. Why was I doing this? Salvia isn't a fun trip at all, there is absolutely no
euphoria. So, I must have a reason. But, what is it? My girlfriend? Nope, didn't have any issues there. My drug
use? No, not really. My religion? The stuck something faint. I had recently elaborated an enormous amount on my
beliefs while on marijuana and, while I believed it intellectually, I hadn't really been able to absorb it and
understand it emotionally - I didn't really feel it. I wanted to change that, and what better way to display
religion than entheogens?
I built a makeshift (like MacGyver!*) bong out of a water bottle and an old wooden pipe, packed a leaf and a half
of crushed dried Divine Sage (usually called Diviner's Sage, but I hate the way that makes it sound like the shaman
is the instigator, controller, and content provider for the experience. He is not - the Universe is) into it, and
took a hit.
Then another one.
Then another.
And another. And another, and another, and another. I felt the first effects, my limbs seperating and the filter
that I normally perceive the world through being dropped away, piece by piece, like a shattered window. I lay down
on a mattress, continuing to hit the Salvia until exhaling was too bizarre an experience to keep up.
I shut my eyes. Beings of all sorts towered over me, argued with each other near me, danced and laughed and played.
I was a swimmer, I was a little kid, I was sideways. A toy next to me came to life. Then I realized that all the
other beings who were doing things around me were the personalities of the objects in the room... my bong, my couch,
my computer, my drum kit, my ceiling lights, my windows.
No! No no no, I had to CONCENTRATE on my purpose for being here! Getting an emotional understanding of my spiritual
beliefs! All this stuff, it's quite distracting. But, I have to fight past it, ignore it, and... wait...
I could feel the energy running through everything. I was watching the objects around me play out their lives.
This was exactly why I had done the Salvia in the first place. I gasped - I added a serious, definate intention to
the trip, and Salvia did exactly what I asked of it. I was so grateful. Now I understood how overly euphoric things,
like Psilocybin, could be used entheogenically - because you add an entheogenic purpose to them, and that's what they
do for you. If you have an honest intention, psychedelics will be happy to play it out for you. Otherwise, euphoria,
fun.
Nothing else to do, so you get random things thrown at you, and many people find this fun. To add to this, you get
euphoria, to ensure that you understand the power of the drug, even if you give the trip no purpose. Otherwise, why
would you come back with a purpose? You'd think the drug did nothing, and look elsewhere. Salvia has no euphoria.
I have experimented with it simply because I have it. But, I had always been using it without a reason, just letting
it play, and I ended up with mainly just feeling very hot, having major problems with my motor control (due to the
initial fractalling and removing of your perceptions), and very minor not-really-open-eye, not-really-closed-eye,
more "mind's eye" visuals. There was no "Wow" that you get with most unfocused psychedelic experiences.
A thought struck me - it'd be interesting trying to do something basic, like getting some food or water, while under
the influence of Salvia. So I got up and headed down the hall. Into the bathroom. The mirror seems normal enough,
aside from a small perception shift looking downwards into it. I look at the electricity outlet, contrasted on its
wallpaper background, and I see them as two different layers, like things appear through a ViewFinder. Then, I
realized that these things ARE on seperate layers, as anyone familiar with computer graphics can visualize. I left,
skipped the drink and food, and headed back out into the hall.
I collapsed onto my knees on the carpet. The world, coming tearing, racing and screaming at me through my eyes and
ears, it demanded that I give my full attention to a billion different things - the carpet, the wall, the light,
the doors, the cats' food dishes... I dropped to my knees, covered my ears and closed my eyes. It was so hard to
deal with all this stuff that I pass by every day without giving even a first thought. Now, I saw the personalities
in every object. And energetic, determined personalities! They all had purposes, and they were trying as hard as
they could to fulfill them. They screamed at me to help, but I didn't realize what they wanted at the time.
You can't see these things all the time, because of how overwhelming they are. So, our perceptions filter reality,
just to dull it a bit. Our perceptions let us put things into smaller groups - piles of stones, forests of trees,
planets of rock - instead of how we would group reality without this filter - everything. We wouldn't see a division
among collections of things, we would instinctively know the connection between things, while seeing their
individuality even more. As if a glass layer seperates everything, and when things interact, the two layers are
merged, and when they discontinue interaction, the layers seperate again. The shapes of their contents may be
different (as in an eaten apple - the core is discarded, and so seperates from the eater... but the eater keeps the
apple's flesh in his stomach) but this change makes no difference, because the two are connected through their
energy, even if not physically connected.
This is how smaller cells can form organs can form beings - when the cells join together, they merge into one thing.
The organs join together in a system, becoming one thing. This doesn't happen in systems like human society, however,
because we don't truly, deep down, support and want the society to function perfectly, for the benefit of the society
as a whole. Our system is not natural, has no intent, and is moving towards nothing but its continued existance. So,
it fails.
Everything in life needs a real purpose if you want the Universe to help you out with it.
* - please note that I have never seen MacGyver, never seen an advertisement for MacGyver, never spoken to anyone about
MacGyver, and generally never known, through whatever mode of communication, any part of any MacGyver plot, or a similar
plot.