The Meuillars ...

Every stable organization needs a good leader and the family unit is no different. Buddy is very proud of his family and wants them to have the best of everything. With that in mind, he became the self-acclaimed leader of the family, the boss!

Everyone knew that it could be argued that Ms. Lucy is the real boss. They knew that because they heard it argued many times. Some heard it in the park, others heard in the grocery store and in a number of different public places.

Relatives, friends and neighbors heard it argued at least once - even those who only came to visit on one occasion. Buddy is a very nice man; he always knows when to stop arguing. He always starts it but knows it is time to stop when he hears Ms. Lucy's favorite line, "Who died and made you the boss around here?"

Some relatives and a few friends believe that little Kimmy, the seven-year-old, is really the boss. Her name is Kimberley but Buddy started calling her Kimmy when he first saw her at the hospital. Kimmy is very skillful at delegating the "boss" role to Ms. Lucy or to Buddy as she sees fit.

On Saturday mornings when Buddy is trying to sleep in late, Kimmy delegates the role to him. As the boss, he has to make pancakes for breakfast and then take her to the lake to feed the ducks. Sometimes they go walking on the grounds of the Stephen Leacock Museum. When Kimmy wants to spend some time in the kitchen, baking cookies or muffins, she delegates the role to Ms. Lucy.

The boys, Norman and Sylvester are no longer interested in this role. They each had their chance when they were younger and did remarkably well. Norm is now fifteen going on twenty-one (or so he thinks) and Syl just graduated from the University of Toronto.

On Buddy's tenth birthday, he went to the movies with his friends and his round, weird looking glasses. In those days, a good movie was one with a secret agent. In this movie, the secret agent was driving a red MGB sports car. Buddy secretly decided that his first car would be a red MGB.

A few minutes later, he could feel the wind blowing through his hair as he drove the red MGB through the winding road towards the beach. Sophie, a gorgeous blonde with tight blue shorts and a red T-shirt sat in the seat next to him. She had a bright yellow scarf around her neck; it was blowing in the wind like his hair.

Buddy screamed out loudly when she leaned over and tried to kiss him on the lips. He was relieved when he realized that it was all a dream.

A few years later, Buddy went with his dad to have the family car serviced. He was in the waiting room thumbing through a magazine with imported cars when he spotted the sleek, white Peugeot 504 in the centerfold. It was a sight to behold. The red MGB quickly faded into oblivion. He could see himself driving down the street in this modern import.

When he bought his first car, it was a Volkswagen Beatle. Just like the Love Bug but a little older. Well, a lot older but the engine was in good condition! The body was good too. It's the paint. It looked like it was blue at one time but it's hard to say.

Buddy had a plan. He knew exactly how to convert this old Beatle that was blue at one time into the car of his dreams. First, he named it Buck because the seats had that bucket look. Then, he took Buck to the paint shop and said, "Paint her white and put the word 'Buck' in bold letters on each door. Large red letters!"

Two days later, Buck was as white as the Peugeot 504 in the magazine and the word 'Buck' could be seen from miles away. Buddy felt the joy of ownership in his veins. It was all coming together nicely!

When he got into the car, the joyful feeling stayed outside. Buck was perfect, on the outside but terribly worn on the inside. He drove Buck to the upholsterer and said, "Refinish it red, bright red like that MGB over there."

He had to wait a few days but this was an impressive job. Buck was now perfectly white on the outside and brilliant red on the inside. His bank balance was at an all time low; it had two dollars and twenty cents but his dream car was ready.

He closed his eyes, smiled coyly and mused, "The girls will be lining up just to touch it. I may even have to leave some of them behind."

On the way home, Buck started 'bucking' on the freeway but made it to their street. They were finally on the home stretch. Buddy could feel the excitement building in his chest as he imagined everyone coming out to see Buck.

He could hear the oohing and aahing but, without further warning, Buck sputtered and died. It happened in front of John's house only a few houses away from his own. John and his brother Fred helped Buddy push Buck to his driveway.

Even though many years have since passed, Buddy could still remember that faithful day. His bank balance did not change much but he now drives an import - a green Honda Civic. The sticker on the back bumper reads, "My Next Car is a Hammer!" Originally, it was "Hummer" but that was before Kimmy got a permanent black marker as a gift at a birthday party.

Only a few years ago, Ms. Lucy threatened to drag him kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. Today, he is a technology buff, a real 'road-hog' on the information superhighway. He is the kind of guy who would go on a tour of the Sahara Dessert and e-mail you from his camel so that you could see his digital pictures of a sand storm.

His e-mail attachments are so large that he's become a living nightmare to friends, especially those who are still using dialup. Some of them had to get new e-mail addresses to avoid the onslaught. A few smart friends kept their old e-mail addresses to collect Buddy's e-mails and keep them on a server somewhere in e-mail heaven.

Buddy started off with a cell phone, then, he got himself a pager. Now, he could no longer wait to get home to respond to his e-mails so he got himself a Blackberry. The e-mails were arriving by the dozen, every minute, like jet planes coming in at Pearson International Airport.

He is now thinking about replacing these three units with the new Blackberry unit. The best combined wireless phone, data and e-mail experience with a smaller handset and stylish design.

A few weeks ago, Buddy took his brand new laptop on a fishing trip. He wanted to surf the net for information on the different fishes that Kimmy caught.

There was no way for Buddy to know that a little boy would throw water on his nice new laptop. He chased after the little boy but there was no way for Buddy to know that the Hulk Hogan look alike was the boy's father. And there was definitely no way for Buddy to know that the little girl walking with the big black dog was the boy's sister.

Who would have thought that the dog would chase after Buddy while he was chasing the boy and he would have to jump off the pier into the water ... while he was clutching the laptop? The lady in the red swimsuit thought Buddy could swim. She had no way of knowing that Buddy only completed Aqua Level 1.

Buddy's all-time favorite movie is "Fiddler on the Roof." He particularly likes Tevye's song, "If I Were A Rich Man." Every morning, he plays that song while imitating Tevye's dance movements. The first time his neighbor Margarita saw him dancing, she phoned Ms. Lucy to ask if Buddy was in an accident.

When the weather is as good as it today, Buddy says, "This is a good time for me to be rich. I won't have to worry about bills and work and things like that." You should hear him. He doesn't just say "rich". He says, "rrrr...ich". Buddy's newest T-shirt reads, "Please Lord: Winning the lottery won't spoil me."

Sometimes, Kimmy leaves some of her dinner on the table, mostly the vegetables. When Ms. Lucy sees it she says, "You think your father is a millionaire. Don't you?" Under her breath, Kimmy responds, "Not yet, but one of these days, he'll be rrrr...ich!"

Margarita thinks Buddy is a little eccentric. Ms. Lucy disagrees but wishes to remain silent on this issue - you could be the judge.

The first time Buddy planted tulips; he was on his hands and knees in the garden measuring the depth of each hole with his measuring tape. The instructions clearly stated, plant bulbs two inches deep. He even moved a few bulbs because they were more than six inches apart. Strike one.

Last summer, he planted English cucumbers in his backyard garden. It did so well that he had to eat one every day. To ensure that he always picked the biggest one, he used his trusty measuring tape to measure the cucumbers. Strike two.

Buddy is a good man but he is very busy. At the end of some days, instead of saying "Good night God", he says, "Good God, night!"