Norm's New Hobby ...

When Norm asked to play hockey, he came face-to-face with this dreadful statement, "We can't afford it honey!" It devastated him and he hoped to avoid it forever but it reared its ugly head for a second time when he asked for a new bicycle.

At the tender age of nine, the future was starting to look grim. He wondered if all his big dreams and goals would meet with the same fate. With summer fast approaching, he was beginning to feel desperate and needed to discuss his situation with someone who would understand and offer some help.

He thought about it for a while and then said, "If anyone could help me, it would be Grandfather Joe. He knows me better than anyone else in the whole wide world. I'm going to speak with him right now."

On the way to Grandfather Joe's house, Norm mulled over his predicament and rehearsed various versions of his intended discourse. When he arrived, Grandfather Joe was in his backyard putting up birdhouses.

Without the jovial greetings expected of Norm he said, "Grandfather Joe, it seems like only yesterday I was sleeping in a crib and drinking from a baby's bottle. Now, I'm already nine years old and I feel like I'm growing older real fast!

In addition, things are so very expensive and I'm afraid I will grow up long before I could afford to enjoy my childhood. As it is, we can't even afford a hobby. Will you help me? "

"My dear Norm," he started and then paused for a moment as he remembered how his own son had gone away to university when he was only eighteen years old. He never really came back home to live.

"I understand your concern and I'm really glad that you chose to discuss this with me. First and foremost, I think you are much too young to worry about what we can and cannot afford. You should be busy having fun!

Secondly, I have an idea but I must ask you to think about these two questions before we do anything. I want to be sure that my idea will meet your needs.

1. Would you be interested in hearing from great people about their travels to far away places? and ...
   
   
2. Would you want to learn from kings and scholars from around the world?
   
   

Norm clenched his right fist and excitedly said, "Why yes Grandfather Joe! I would like that!" He then muttered softly, "I was right! Grandfather Joe knows me better than anyone in this whole wide world!"

"I know how you could hear from great people about their travels to far away places, and learn the secrets of the ages from kings and scholars. I also know how we, you and I, could AFFORD to do this together."

"Tell me Grandfather Joe. Tell me!"
"I'll do better than that Norm. I'll show you."

Grandfather Joe and Norm went for a long walk. They heard the birds singing in the trees and Norm chased after the squirrels in the open field. He squealed with delight as they scampered up into the safety of the trees. They passed by Norm's school and the Community Center on their way to the downtown core.

Their first stop was for ice cream at the Convenience Store. After that they walked hand-in-hand along the main street and did a bit of window-shopping. On the way home they stopped by the local library and borrowed a few books.

This did not help Norm to get a bicycle but he had a great time snuggling and reading about trains and planes with Grandfather Joe. When they were finished, he excitedly announced, "We need more books Grandfather Joe! I want to hear about those far away places. Can we start with the great Pyramids?"

Grandfather Joe laughed heartily and said, "You bet! Tomorrow, we'll go to the library again. Now, you must go and help Grandma set the table for dinner." Savoring this sweet success, Grandfather Joe retired to his favorite lazy chair in the far corner of the deck. It sat in the full evening sun and within moments, he dozed off.

In his dream, Grandfather Joe saw Norm riding a sparkling new bicycle. It was bright red, the sky was as blue as can be and Norm was dressed as an Egyptian. He was heading towards the great Pyramids.

This brief slumber came to an abrupt end when he heard a familiar little voice say, "Grandfather Joe, what is sex?" It took him a moment to regain his composure, and even then he wondered why his darling little grand daughter was asking such a grown-up question.

Against his better judgment, he started with the importance of human reproduction and was heading straight for the joys and responsibilities of intercourse when he realized that her mouth was hanging down and her eyes open wide in amazement.

Seeing the look on her little face he said, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"

She cautiously replied, "Grandma said dinner will be ready in a few secs."

"Oh!" He offered remorsefully.