Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to the notice I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

All your responses must be oral.
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Its good for you ...

• Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark
• Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church
• The church is prayer-conditioned
• Exercise daily, walk with the Lord
• Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift
• Give God what's right, not what's left
• Man's way leads to a hopeless end, God's way leads to endless hope
• A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing
• He who kneels before God can stand before anyone
• Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it
• Read the Bible, it will scare the hell out of you
• Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible
• Compassion is difficult to give away, it keeps coming back
• Be ye fishers of men; you catch them and He'll clean them
• God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called
• Don't put a question mark where God puts a period
• When praying, don't give God instructions; just report for duty
• We don't change God's message, His message changes us
• When God ordains, He sustains
• WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning
• Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position
• He who angers you controls you
• Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop
• In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma ... but never let him be the period
• Never give the devil a ride ... he will always want to drive
• Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler

This is about a Trini (Trinidadian) who came to live in Canada ...

October 8th -- We have arrived in Canada!!! Finally!! This marks a new chapter in our lives. It's very nice here. It's a little cool, but who needs HOT weather? This is perfect: Not too hot; not too cold.

October 15th -- It is getting a little cooler, but we are adjusting. We bought some sweaters today and went for a short walk. Loving Toronto!!! This is what life is about!!!

October 30th -- The weather is definitely cooler now. We taped all the windows shut, so cold air cannot creep in. Outside may be cold, but it feels like Port-of-Spain in this house.

November 11th -- The news reports say snow is on the way ... we cannot wait!!! We have never seen snow and it should be pretty exciting to see it for the first time.

November 14th -- It started snowing. The first of the season and the first real snow we have ever seen. The wife cooked Pelau and we sat by the window watching soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. Could never do anyting like this in TRINI ... IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!!!

November 15th -- We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub was covered like a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and the sidewalk. Later, the city snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved and I waved back and shovelled again. Torontonians are so friendly!!!

November 18th -- It snowed an additional twelve inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around four degrees. The cold weather is not so bad. We can take this. Not at all as bad as we imagined. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is brownish grey.

November 19th -- Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice again. Bought snow tires for both cars. I slipped and fell on my backside in the driveway, paid $130 for the chiropractor, but fortunately, nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

November 20th -- Still cold. Sold my wife's car and bought a 4 X 4 in order to get to work.

November 21st -- On my way to work, the 4 X 4 skidded into the guardrail and did considerable damage to the right fender. We had another 15 inches of white shit last night. The vehicle have salt and shit all over it. More shovelling in store for me today! De dam snowplough man did he job again. Watch me an' him!

November 22nd -- Yuh believe dis? De first heating bill just come! How de hell it come up to so much???

November 30th -- Its two frigging degrees outside! an' more snow on de way. Every dam tree in de yard go damage up. An' to crown it off, de power went out mos ah the night. We try to keep from freezing to death wid candles an' ah kerosene heater, but de heater tip over an' nearly bun dung de kiss-meh-ass house. Ah manage to put out de flames, but end up wid second degree burns on meh hans. Ah nearly bun off meh eyebrow an' eyelash. Den de car slide on de white shit again on the way to de hospital, an' we had to write it off.

December 5th -- Look at meh crosses! Dis snow ain't plan to stop soon. De ting comin' down and down as if it go never stop!! What de arse is this?? Ah had to put on all meh clothes dat ah own just to go out to meh mailbox. This is real shit! If ah ever catch the prick dat drive dat snowplough, ah tell yuh, ah go cross one lash in he arse. He go bawl like ten Tarzan when he get it. Ah really tink he does hide round de corner and wait 'til ah finish shovelling, den come down the street fas, fas, an' cover up we driveway again. Boy, ah tell yuh!!!

December 10th -- De power still off, de toilet freeze up. Some part ah de roof look like it ready to cave in.

December 15th -- Another mudder arse eleven more inches ah snow an' ice!!! God know dis ain't right. Ah put ah hole in de snow plough with me pick-ax but the driver get away by the skin of he teeth. If he feel he go be so lucky next time, he lie!!!

December 16th -- De wife take off and lef me.

December 18th -- De car cyar start an' ah tink ah goin' snow-blind. Ah cyar feel me toes an' ah din see de sun fuh weeks!!! An' guess whuh? De weatherman predict more snow!!! Yuh believe dat??? An' de win-chill is 30 friggin degrees below zero!!!

December 22nd -- Dis TRINI moving back home TODAY before dis God forsaken, kiss-meh-arse place done kill mih arse an finish mash up mih family!!! If ah ketch a flight, at least a could reach Port-of-Spain fuh Christmas and some good liquors an Parang. Toronto could haul dey arse!