Ms. Lucy's Mantra ...

In the good old days, people used to say that teachers were born, not made. Well, Ms. Lucy is of that genre; she is a born counselor. She is also a very simple person. Kind, considerate and usually well dressed. Nothing like Buddy!

Respected by relatives and friends alike, Ms. Lucy's greatest strength lies in her ability to tell it like it is. She is known as someone who is always willing to lend an ear AND offer sound advice.

Her services are always provided free of charge and is only available to relatives and friends. She is credited with rescuing a few broken marriages and countless family relationships.

Ms. Lucy spends many long hours on the telephone counseling relatives and friends wherever they may be. Buddy does not mind the exorbitant telephone bills but he vehemently abhors the resulting lack of attention.

When it comes to the family finances, Ms. Lucy is a whiz! Her mantra is, "What's mine is mine and what's HIS is mine!" Buddy is OK with that as long as she only looks after the family budget and leave the big decisions to him.

She makes all the small decisions - the house they live in, the car they drive, the school the kids attend, where they go on vacation and little things like that. Buddy looks after the really big ones - should the government raise taxes, should inflation go up or down, etc.

On a fine summer day, with beautiful blue skies everywhere, Buddy came home with a large black umbrella under his arm. He hurriedly opened it to show Ms. Lucy the cute little Dalmatians all around the edges.

Buddy was so pleased with this purchase that the air seemed to be charged with a magic that brightened the colors around the room. Ms. Lucy was quietly thinking it looked like a prop from the movie, 1001 Dalmatians, but she decided to keep a still tongue and do a little probing.

"Why do we need such a big umbrella?" she asked in a soft gentle voice.
"Because!"
"Because, what?"
"Because the book I'm reading says, people could keep the LOVE alive in their relationship by walking together in the rain."

"LOVE! Do you really believe that Buddy?"
"Yes! I do believe that!"
"And, who may I ask is going to walk with you, in the rain, under that oversized umbrella?"

"Well Ms. Lucy, I'd say that depends!"
"Depends on what Buddy?"
"Depends on whether anyone wants to keep the LOVE alive in our relationship!"

On Mother's Day Buddy said, "Ms. Lucy, you know that your mother is my favorite mother-in-law, don't you?" Her tart reply was, "My mother IS your only mother-in-law and it would do you the world of good to remember that!"

On the home front, Ms. Lucy is an excellent cook! She is even planning to put some of her favorite recipes on the Internet. Only this morning she said to Buddy, "Today, I'm cooking because I love you." He muttered, "Are you sure it is not because you love eating?"

Ms. Lucy truly loves Buddy. He can do no wrong -- as long as he does things her way! Her real love is for the family. She literally lives for them and spares no effort dressing and feeding them. They love her cooking, especially those exotic dishes.

At one time, Ms. Lucy was doing most of the work around the house, all by herself. She was literally working from dawn to dusk while the boys lounged around creating more mess than little Kimmy.

Buddy thought this was not fair to Ms. Lucy and suggested that she learn the fine art of delegation. "It pays excellent dividends," he quipped. It did not take Ms. Lucy very long to master that fine art. Now, she delegates many household chores to -- you guessed it -- to Buddy.

Poor Buddy. Every Saturday morning, he gets a long list of things to do around the house. Sometimes, for fun, he dons Ms. Lucy's pink frilly apron while dusting and cleaning. Ever so often he mutters, "This is what I get for interfering in her affairs."

Last Saturday morning, Buddy came down much earlier than usual, in an obvious endearing mood. He was singing and dancing with an invisible partner to the tune of some distant drummer.

Ms. Lucy immediately got this deep down gut wrenching feeling that he was up to no good. But, try as she might she could not figure it out. She decided to keep an eye on him and continue preparing the eggs for breakfast.

Buddy danced around the kitchen twice. He then went past Ms. Lucy, whipped the dishcloth off the rack and started drying the dishes. Ms. Lucy's jaw fell because this was totally out of character for Buddy, especially so early on a Saturday morning.

She was quietly saying, "THANK YOU LORD!" when Buddy broke the silence. He nonchalantly said, "I would argue that drying the dishes with a wet dishcloth is tantamount to spanking someone with a wet noodle."

Her reply was immediate and somewhat agitated, "Is there anything that you would not argue?"

This caught him off guard but he rebounded quickly, "Now, let's see! I would not argue about your cooking. You make one of the best pastas in the whole wide world!"

"Norm, will you get the doorbell?"
"Dad, it is Mr. Peters, he said the boys are in the car, don't forget your golf clubs."