THIS PAGE IS FOR ALL YOU USELESS, BLOODY, LOATHSOME,
CONTEMPTIBLE, MUTANT SWINE THAT DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME OF
THE WORDS I USE IN MY "WISDOM" PAGE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I
BOTHER...YOU CERTAINLY AREN'T WORTH IT!!!

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"agripustules"  Plant/animal, and disease that implants itself on the dermis of carbon-based lifeforms and drills its way into the nervous and muscular systems. It has the best of both worlds...locomotion, like animals, and rigidity, as in plants. The combination of these two attributes gives it the strength to burrow through crania and vertebrae. Very, very nasty and unhoopy. The only known cures are to have a radical osteo-ectomy, or worse, to be declared the 1st Poonwilt of a "Flosh Party"...which almost NO intelligent being would want to be!!!

"barbanscuous"   The word one uses to describe the behavior exhibited by the ancient Barban of Giidlbumbellyboob-titty-tit-tit54,1/5. Their frequent, disgusting "flosh -parties" caused death and disease planet-wide.

"Bimblwinx"   The part of a beings' overall life-force, that is corporeal, and that sits around the cosmos, farting, belching, picking its nose, flicking its boogers at passers-by, smelling the place up, not wiping it's ass, cursing, spitting, vomitting, urinating,shitting everywhere and then deriding the aformentioned passers-by for not joining in.

"bling"   The semi-liquid fermented excrement of the Medium Puultuurn Beast of Zikk, that was collected, bottled, and marketed by the Tyyilbum Ganx Liqui-Corp, as "Bling". The ad copy goes as follows... " It's the REAL Bling". The name stuck, and become a "gwilmhold word". You would, on Earth, use the word "Kleenex" in the same way. Sometimes, if the container is left anywhere near a Mingbugger Unit, it spoils, gels, and is then, quite forcibly and nastily, force-fed to the inmates of Lool-Gog Institutions as supplementary punishment.

"Chroma-Key Cricca"   The paint pigment, cake mix, and marital-aid lube that is made from the discarded lining of the HyperSpace Gillguy Tubes ,which are an important part of the engines of a Vogon Fleet StarShip. If any non-Vogon lifeform looks at it, touches it, ingests it, stands near it, or even thinks about it for any length of time, they/it run the risk of burns, stupidity, ugliness, death, or what's even worse... negative Bimbl.

"Doozl Spittlbig"   The ex-guitarist/vitamin guru/ Galactic President/jerk-off/visionary whose teachings heaved mightily against the constraints of the then- accepted polictical/sexual/musical beliefs. He had an excellent hand- vibrato, which was extremely rare since the invention of the Fender "Pro-Supinator Plus"® mechanical vibrato forearm attachment.

"findlwoodlwinx"   Sex organs of humanoid males. Includes "penuus", "pedesticles", "radical zin" and the "Zzntubules".

"flim"  Extremely expensive, and super- delicious, watery food topping made from the saliva of giant Beebats of the group of planets known as Binocurland. You may recall the well known children's stories that told of the miniature beasts of Zikk that travelled the galaxy in the large intestine of a Gigantic Mutant-Weasil, spreading disease and death to every planet they visited! Absolutely delightful! The galaxy famous one-book trilogy, "Puultuurns to Binocurland" by Dieney Gink-Organ was enjoyed by all young Vogons. It sold in the septillions everywhere.

"flosh"  Liquid shit.

"Flosh Party"  See "Flosh".

"foont, foonting" ;...galactic equivalent to "fuck, fucking".

"frood"   If you are a "frood", you are hoopy.

"Galactic Mental Health Council"   Jerks who have their heads so far up their asses they wouldn't know sunlight if it bit them on their sorry asses! Hhhhggghh!!!

"G'Gugglvnnt" The stupidest, most obnoxious, foul- tempered pseudo-beings/slime/excrement in Zarqon's creation!

"grambl, grambling"  ..only the disgusting "Spit- Worms" of Irg, or the horrible "Fecebug-Prime" of Kanganthus l "grambl" . All I will tell you is that it involves liquid feces, a proboscus, and insane dancing.... Hhhhggg!!!

"gugging" The act of standing erect, urinating, defecating, farting, belching, and puking while holding up a bottle of "Bling" in your teeth and taking swigs between pukes and belches...but without using your hands/feelers/ pseudopods/paws to hold the bottle. This technique was perfected and made wildly popular by Cervax The Gug, who spent 3 maang studying the shpilkis of Bimblwinx, and how to attain Bimbl.

"gulglurgling" Gugging...but while standing on one foot/feeler/paw/pseudopod with both/all three/seven/13/61,"and up" eyes closed. To spill any Bling during this act is to insult your host, and you must submit to a slow dis-embowelment, after which you must apologize and beg his/her/its/guul forgiveness. This practice/ritual/ceremony/stupidity ceased after Nicklpoon of Stupis-8 gulglurglinged at The Tuunpin VeelFest2301 and wound up veeled to death under a stigbeast baby hoon. Stupid bastard.

"History"   Every planet, civilization, race and being, has been lied to by the assholes who call themselves "politicians", "lawyers", "agents", and anyone with the slightest bit of power... ergo, "History", is just total, complete, 100%, unadulterated, pure,through and through, "fuck-you- there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it- because-it's-always-been-done-like -that",or "that's-just-the-way-it-is", bullshit.

"hoopy";...cool, suave, groovy.

"linging"  Stupid fad amongst the young vogons of Voga Prime, at the end of their Minklung Phase. It involves injecting oneself with the body fluids of beings stricken with Bin-Bin, the dreaded Zuul malady, and just before expiring, injecting oneself again, but this time with Janx. It is also a slang word used to describe the act of "swallowing" those foul body fluids.

"Lower Ones"   Ignorant, filthy, beings of the Lower Worlds whose diet consists of flosh, Zip,ginch, and assorted other nauseating material. It's widely believed that "We", the Vogons are decendants of the Lower Ones...Ugh! How could such beauty spring forth from such ikkiness? It's bullshit, of course...I'm proof of that. Their only redeeming quality is their mortality...Thank Zarqon!!!

"Mighty Zarqon"  (pronounced zark-wawn) The Great spiritual Leader of the Galaxy.

"nurn" The sweet smelling, yellow, goopy fluid surrounding the fetal Vogon Fruitpig. Revolting.

"photon"  Just another way to say "fuck". The word you use when you want to say "fuck" when you are somewhere where actually saying the word "fuck", is unhoopy.  eg.."where the photon is this place?"

"Qaans"  Slang for the "pedesticles".

"slake" A foontword of Zoorn. It translates as a nasty way to say "I had sex with her". To slake a woman/beast, for example, is to throw your organ into her/it, foont her/it around the room like a rag doll, and then throw what's left of her/it out the front door for the Flying Meatpigs to consume. Zoorn was a foul- mouthed slugling. His favourite pastime was heaping scorn on the stupid, ignorant beings of the Baashta Planet system. His delivery was brilliant, and his career soared, until, as legend has it, he was disintegrated to his component molecules by a jealous girlfriend wielding an outlawed Pindala "Moli-Kill-U-R" when she caught him in bed with the local Hotblack Desiato look-alike.

"trimbl, trimbling"  eg...when you trimble someone, you are degrading yourself... lowering yourself to a level lower than that of the Zzn Guzzlers of Rin ...Hhhhhhggg!! It can also be an adjective, as in "Scrape that trimbling nurn off my lawn!"

"Vog1, Voga3, Geekbit IV"   The three main Vogon planets/industrial and toxic waste dumps.

"voontvir ginch"   Ginch from a voontvir.

"Vvilvinx, vvulvanx, and tvlaan"   The fabled "three most hated and despised beings/things in the history of the history of the Universe". From the time this evil, foul triumvirate was first chosen from a list of people, it was thought that the three would reign for one solar year, then relinquish their crown/s to the next three unlucky bastards. But the same three have held the dishonour since the get-go! For the last 655 trillion, billion years, the three most despised, hated, loathed, sons-of-bitches in the history of history itself, the three, who, if on fire, would not even get pissed on by the lowest of the low-lifes, the Traan...the three, who are so unliked, that they couldn't get laid in a Barban whorehouse even if they offered to pay for sex with a tanker-truck full of flosh...the three, that make shit look, smell, and taste good on a plate, and are less fun to be with than that shit, are ...lawyers, politicians, and agents.

"zaanthanx"  The belief that if you are good in this life , you come back as a Barban Flosh-Rat and are miserable. So you do whatever you please, in this life, with little or no regard to the consequences, and the chances of coming back as a Barban Flosh-Rat are lessened somewhat. Total bullshit. Also the nickname of a brand of whisky, that has side effects so nasty, that the company's ad agency had to come up with something to divert the consumer's attention away from the horrible after-effects...or "while-effects", which are the things that happen to you while you drink it.

"Zoorn"  Fabled teller of off-coloured , filthy, sex jokes that are told only in the Vanxclubs on GashbungIV. It is said that Zoorn makes guest appearances at places such as "Slim's Throat Emporium" ... the"EvilDrome Booz-A-Rama", or some disgusting shit-hole named "Hanrahan's", in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, Earth, Sector Z , but don't believe it.