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INDIAN JOKES - VOLUME 1

A FREE HAIRCUT

There once was a kind hearted barber in city in the US. He never charged anyone for his services.

One day a Florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies:

'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.’
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: 'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.' The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Donuts.

A Indian goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies: ' I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.’ The Indian also leaves very happy. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, he finds………………………………….10 more Indians waiting for a haircut.

Kakey da hotel is a very popular eating-place in Connaught Circle, Delhi. It started off as a humble Kakey da Dhaaba with stools and charpaees  laid out on the pavement and the tandoor, handees and pateelas places in open. With prosperity the kitchen went into the read and a dining room was furnished with tables, chairs as well as wash basin.  One evening a patron having finished his meal went to rinse his mouth in the wash basin. He proceeded to do so with great vigor; gargling,  spitting "thooh thooh" and blowing his nose.  This ruined the appetites of other diners who protested to the proprietor.  Kakaji went to the rinser-spitter and admonished him. "Haven't you ever eaten in a good hotel before?", he demanded.

"Indeed, I have", replied the errant mouth-rinser, "I have eaten at the Taj, Maurya, Oberoi, Imperial, Hyatt."

"What did they say to you when you rinsed your mouth making all these unpleasent sound?"

They asked: 'You think this is Kakey da Hotel?" and threw me out."

Kakey da dhaaba has evoked another anecdote on cheap eating places.  An Indian abroad ran out of foreign exchange and went  looking  for the cheapest eating place in town.  He located an Indian restaurant and went in.  He found three sections: 'European, Chinese, and Indian'  He went into the Indian.  It was divided into two: Vegeterian and non-vegetarian.  He went into the vegetarian which was further divided into pure ghee and vanaspati.  He went to the vanaspati section and found yet another division: Cash or credit. Cheered at the prospect of not having to pay in foreign exchange he opted for the Credit section.  When he got to it he found the sign: "Exit: get out."

A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit  a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.  While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The Rajasthani man replies, "Man, you'vegot to kill these things when they're small."

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