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HOW TO KNOW YOUR'E AN INDIAN

Note: Our evergrowing list and the most popular page on the site! Newer additions are added to the bottom of the list.

  1. When there is a sale on toilet papers, you buy 100 rolls
  2. You use dishwasher as a dish rack
  3. You save grocery bags, mostly to hold garbage
  4. You fight over who pays the dinner bill
  5. You majored in Engineering, Computer Science, or Medicine
  6. No one you're related to is a music major
  7. When you go to a dance party, you stand close to the wall surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool
  8. You feel like you got a good deal if you didn't pay tax
  9. You look up phone numbers in the Yellow/White pages rather than making a *69 call
  10. You only make long distance calls after 9 pm
  11. You like the meat well done
  12. You've joined a CD club at least once
  13. You avoid motels especially if there is an acquaintance within 250-mile radius of your destination
  14. You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car
  15. The car you own is most likely a Camry or Accord
  16. When you dine out (very rarely) you think that $1 is a good tip
  17. You head towards the clearance section as soon as you walk  into a store
  18. Your favorite brand name is "IRREGULAR"
  19. A pungent odor of spices hits as soon as someone enters your home
  20. You call fluorescent lights "tube lights" and a flashlight a "torch"
  21. When you travel to your country you tie up your luggage with a rope to keep it from opening apart
  22. You get very upset when the airline agent refuse to accept your luggage which is just 60 pounds overweight
  23. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk two miles barefoot just to get to school
  24. You call an older person you never met before "uncle"
  25. When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes, you discover he is your distant cousin
  26. You ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free
  27. You know more than one plan offered by long distance companies
  28. You take plain water instead of Coke for lunch
  29. Before eating any meat, you ask: "Is this beef?"
  30. You try to ignore all other unknown Indians around you
  31. You tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite them to an Amway meeting
  32. You know all the facilities available at public library
  33. You talk to Americans/Canadians as if you represent your whole country
  34. The stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil
  35. You frequent to garage sales every week
  36. You find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer
  37. Your dinner involves spreading newspaper on living room floor
  38. You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room
  39. You like onion rings at Burger King
  40. You shop around for dual voltage appliances
  41. The phrase "When are you going to India" comes into your conversation at least once a day
  42. You bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale value
  43. The number of long distance calls you make is more than domestic calls
  44. You keep switching your internet service provider because first month is free.
  45. You go back to your apartment for lunch
  46. Your full name contains more than 15 characters
  47. You know all the $2.00 theaters in your city
  48. The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there of the free food
  49. You have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel
  50. You don't know any American/Canadian outside your work
  51. You have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen
  52. You run to the Laundromat in your lungi
  53. You put lots of oil in your hair
  54. You keep comparing prices at Future Shop for the phone you bought six months ago
  55. The lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial
  56. You are compelled to visit ever major city in US, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there "
  57. You have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.
  58. You pay your bills the day they come in the mail
  59. You spend 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from landlord
  60. You have a bucket in your bath tub
  61. You  borrow unused luggage from friends when visiting India
  62. The smoke detector goes off whenever you are cooking dinner
  63. You know which grocery store has the freshest coriander
  64. You buy milk before you run out of it
  65. You buy rice in the 20 pound bags or more
  66. Office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house
  67. You don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer
  68. You have postponed buying answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has in built answering machine
  69. You start spelling your name to the operator like R as in Rainbow, A as in apple , M as in monkey ...well you get the idea
  70. You ask another Indian if he/she ever got a traffic ticket
  71. Your medicine cabinet contains medicine like Iodex and Vicks from India
  72. You know the current differential in gold prices between India and US
  73. You have a bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and returned it after the trip
  74. You wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.
  75. You always wear a "Banyan"
  76. You have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom
  77. You have taken pictures of you and your car and mailed to your folks back home
  78. You use the credit card with maximum cash back
  79. You have collected enough frequent flier miles for a international trip
  80. You are saving more that 30 % of your salary
  81. You've book marked immigration web pages in your web browser.
  82. You know your friends salaries
  83. You tried to talk in a phony American accent to impress other Indians
  84. You spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart/Wal Mart
  85. You split even the tax out of your common grocery bill
  86. You complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to India
  87. You take 4 week long vacation
  88. You are the first to know about any on campus job openings at the school library/cafeteria/computer center
  89. When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent
  90. Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer
  91. When you go back to India, people treat you like a member of the royal family
  92. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport in India and you see that all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up
  93. You teach Americans/Canadians swear words in your language
  94. You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes
  95. Your parents measure wealth in gold and diamonds
  96. You say you hate Indian films and songs but secretly watch or hear them with your parents
  97. You prefer using chili sauce instead of tomato ketchup
  98. Your parents always say, "It's cheaper in India."
  99. Trying to assimilate into the American or Canadian society, you've changed your name from Ramandeep Jitinder Sandhu Akash to LeRoy Jenkins
  100. You play Antakshari
  101. You get high off butter chicken and/or mango frooti
  102. Your have a lota (watering can) in your toilet
  103. You cover your sofa with plastic or a bedsheet to prevent it from getting dirty
  104. When going on a picnic, you take the traditional...roti and saalan along with you
  105. Tongue scrapers are not a new fad to you
  106. If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late
  107. Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son
  108. You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot"
  109. Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
  110. You sound like "Apu" on the Simpsons
  111. You have trouble paying attention to "minor" items like your kids' social lives, but you know the exact number of the check that you're on in your checkbook
  112. Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids and complain why you couldn't be like them
  113. And then...when you compare your friends to yourself, your parents say, "You aren't the same person as they are!"
  114. You know about the cheapest air fares to India
  115. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping and especially those bows next year
  116. You only buy cards after the holiday, when they are 50% off
  117. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table
  118. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing
  119. You don't own any real tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars
  120. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel
  121. You never order room service
  122. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
  123. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it
  124. You don't use measuring cups
  125. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore
  126. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight
  127. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs
  128. You frequently get honked at by those stupid American drivers who think they know how to drive
  129. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people
  130. You think an Indian businessman will give you a better deal because he's Indian
  131. You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there
  132. Your list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonials no matter what she looks like
  133. You know the words of the "Vicco Turmeric" commercial
  134. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train
  135. You've been in a bus where half the people riding are outside the bus
  136. All of your tupperware is stained with food color
  137. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you're not careful
  138. Experiencing 20 power blackouts in a single day doesn't faze you
  139. You have a plastic rug-runner going down your hallway at home
  140. You've never had a tanning salon membership
  141. You pronounce "wary" and "very" the same way
  142. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
  143. You ask your parents' help on one math problem and two hours later they're still lecturing
  144. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom
  145. You know what's going to happen in every hindi movie before it actually happens
  146. You've never got little red envelopes around February
  147. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors
  148. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In India, we had to study even more than this."
  149. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Indian
  150. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in grade seven!"
  151. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from India with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green
  152. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert
  153. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
  154. You are most likely be taller than your parents
  155. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or the rest of the furniture
  156. You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine
  157. When you go for a vacation to India, you fall into the open gutter at least four times during your stay
  158. The most frequent threat used by your parents - ''If u go there/do that we'll throw you out the house!''
  159. Your parents always refer to the respect they had for their parents and how little you do

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