Bhel Puri's Joke Archive - Paki Jokes Volume 2

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PAKI JOKES - VOLUME 2

Nawaz Sherrif (Paki PM) comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee (Indian PM). After dinner, Vajpayee says to Nawaz Sherrif: "Well Nawaz, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant."

"How do you know?" asks Nawaz Sherrif

"Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls Advani over and says to him

"Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!"

"Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Nawaz Sherrif is very impressed.

He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks:

"Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? "

He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer.

"Can I think about it a bit further Nawaz ? May I let you know tomorrow? "
"Of course", says Nawaz Sherrif , "you've got 24 hours."

He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.

Twenty hours later, the member of Nawaz's cabinet is very worried still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says:

"I'll ask Benazer, she's clever, she'll know the answer."

He calls Benazer. "Benazir", he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Very simple", says Benazir, "it's me!"
"Of course" says the Cabinet member and rings Nawaz Sherrif.

"Nawaz", says he, "I've got the answer: it's Benazer Bhutto".

"No, you idiot", says Nawaz Sherrif, "it's Advani".

Q.How many Pakis can one fit in a Telephone booth?

A. Depends what the rent is

Q. Why are the Pakis lousy Soccer players?

A. Every time they get a corner ... they put up a store

General Zia driving round Islamabad came across long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and entry permits to go abroad.

He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people were wanting to leave the country.

No sooner did people see their President with them they left the queue to return to their homes.
President Zia asked them why they were doing so.

They replied: "If you are leaving Pakistan there is no need for us to go."

After Zia-ul-Haq died in the Air Crash (where the plane blew up in mid air), he is greeted in hell by the Shaitan. His punishment decides the devil should be 100 lashes on his bums - a taste of his own medicine. (Something of the variety he had introduced in Pakistan- with Islamic law).

General Zia seems unaffected by the hard whips that are lashing against his bums. Instead he laughs out loud (lol) and smiles with each landing whip.

"kya baat hai" says the Devil "dard nahi ho raha"

"nahin" says the smiling Zia

"voh kyon" asks the devil

"khonke yeh American Ambassador ke bund hai" responds the cheeky Zia-ul-Haq

(The American Ambassador died in the same crash - the bodies were severely dismembered)

During the 1971 Indo-Pak war, the Paki Air Marshall Yaya Khan was trying to train a novice Paki pilot. He took the novice to the fighter plane and said

"Do you see this red button?"
'Yes sir' replied the novice'
'Ok' Said Yaya, 'to start the engine, you have to press it.' 'Now do you see this green button?'
'Yes sir' replied the novice.
'Pressing the green button makes the plane fly'
'Ok sir' said the novice
'but how do I bring the plane down?'
Pat came the reply: 'Don't worry, the Indian air force will take care of that!"

This was in 1988 during Rajiv Gandhi and Zial Haq days.

Once when RG went to Pakistan on a state visit , ZH showed him the state of the art telephone system of Pakistan. RG even made a call to hell and spoke to his mother Indira Gandhi for about 10 minutes. The bill came to just 1 Pakistani rupee. RG was highly impressed by Pakistan's telephone system and after coming back to India ordered the ministry of communications to come up with equally good system in record time so that he too can show it to ZH when he makes a return visit to India after a couple of months.

Indeed when ZH came to India , RG showed him the telephone system. ZH spoke to Bhutto in hell for about 10 minutes. The bill came to 300 Indian rupees. ZH made a sarcastic remark about the cost of the call to hell being so expensive . RG was furious and wanted to know why the call to hell was so expensive. The engineers immediately came up with the reason.

A call to hell from India is a long distance call, but from Pakistan its a local call only.

Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address. Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits in with the car.

Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on. The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.

All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he should drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.

Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road. Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts. Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains, "I did what I thought was right. I went to the farm where he killed the pig. When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I've ever tasted and then sent me on my way."

Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, "well what exactly did you tell them" To which the chauffeur replied "I really can't understand it either, all I did was tell them "I'm Zia's Chauffeur, and I killed the pig."

Three guys, a Paki, a Srilankan and an Indian are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Srilankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of an eye the land in Srilanka was forever made fertile for farming.

The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.

The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out." ; The Indian says, "Fill it up with water."