|
INDIAN
COMPUTER VIRUSES
The following is
the list of some old and new viruses going round in India. Beware!
P.V. Narasimha Rao
Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before executing
any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times and finally
does nothing.
V.P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them only
according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have
a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known
as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then
executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programs that were written
by vegetarians or animals.
L.K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue
working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K.P.S. Gill Virus:
Only ladies need to worry about this virus. Every now and then the users
get a whack, you know where.
Phoolan Devi Virus:
This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page faults
for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU*s birthday.
Deve Gowda Virus:
The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all
the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request for
resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available
or not.
Jayalalitha Virus:
This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family
grab as much of hard disk space as possible while the main virus is totally
unaware of it. When everything stops working, this virus blames the user
for the whole chaos.
I.K.Gujral Virus:
Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the approval
of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses blocks the
instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not execute anything.
While it is not doing anything, as it is always,
this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all major/minor
countries in the World except India w/o receiving the replies.
Veerappan virus:
This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and releases
them after sometime it sometimes seems to be eradicated but suddenly reappears.
Laloo Yadav virus:
A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the
data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation, it will rename its
signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus takes
help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Mulayam Virus:
Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only
task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending
conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus:
Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can detect
now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people use Bofors
scanner for temporary protection.
Kashi-Maya
Virus:
It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination amongst
different resources, It controls & steps the low priority resources
from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses
are thriving by splitting this virus.
Back
to top |
Back to Indian Politics
©2000 Bhel
Puri's Joke Archive. All rights reserved.
|