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ON LALOO YADAV

THE NEXT BIHAR

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. 

The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated: "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." 

Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very slow," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closed for about 5 minutes. Then Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to giveup all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours.

"Sab Akai TV - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge free milega, video khareedein to cellphone free milega... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" ("Its all thanks to the Akai TV ads...they say if you buy a TV, you get a fridge free, a VCR and get a cellphone free. So I said, Mr. Nawaz, you want Kashmir? Take it. You'll also get Bihar for free!")

Once Bill Clinton decides to teach english to Laloo Yaadav. For that purpose he comes to India and takes the former into a room. All the staff of Clinton waits there for 3 months. At last the door of the room opens and staff ask Clinton whether he succeeded or not. To this Clinton replies, "BABUA KUCH SAMAJTA HI NAHIN!"

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he had been working on for quite some time, Laloo proudly shows off his puzzle to a friend."It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags.

"Five months? That's too long,"the friend exclaims.

"You are a fool, " Laloo replies "See this box, it say, for 4 - 7 year

Laloo goes to see the movie "Jhoota Harischandra". At the ticket counter Laloo asks for a ticket and gets one on paying. After a few minutes he returns and asks for another one. The person at the ticket counter gives him the ticket and takes the money. A few minutes later Laloo is back again and ask for another ticket.

The ticket issuer gives him the ticket but is annoyed with Laloo. He says, "Hey! What's your problem? Why don't you buy all your tickets at once?" Laloo replies, "What to do? I need only one ticket, but every time I try to go inside the damn man standing at the door tears apart my ticket!"

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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to do modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper with the following caption:

Laloo, third from left!

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, an old saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting,"This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane.

Sonia Gandhi said,"Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped. Laloo Yadav said,"I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.

The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump." The school boy said,"Don't worry! There are still two parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person, Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!"

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When Lalloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed Rabridevi, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released, and Lalloo was pleased.

But within a couple of days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Laloo Prasad.

She said: "The stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our people are spitting on the wrong side!"

Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around looking for a job. Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as a vacuum cleaner saleman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day itself. He goes to the first house in his territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow dung) all over the floor and the sofa. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it." She replies, "You want chutney with that? We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."

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