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LETTER TO THE U.S PRESIDENT

The following is the text of the letter Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee sent to US President Bill Clinton.

Dear President Saab, Namaskar!

Hope this letter finds you in the pink of your health & happiness. I am pleased to inform you that we have successfully completed the underground nuclear tests here in India.

In this letter, I would like to explain why I conducted these tests.

It was in our party manifesto.
You were taking away all the global media attention along with your Ms. Monica ji.
Hiroshima & Nagasaki are very complicated names for kids learning history in India , I think Karachi & Islamabad will be easier for them to remember.
I know you must be thinking Pakistan will not bomb New Delhi & Bombay. Your guess may be right, but then, what better a way to reduce population that has been the cause of all evil in India
You too have so many nukes under your belt. May be that is what you always try to show off, by pulling your pants down to your female colleagues in your White House.

But you see i am too old for all that now. Saar, please rest assured that the series of tests are limited in number and pose no danger to USA or to Japan or any other country besides INDIA. Already some people have medical problems around the region of the testing area, but not to worry we are asking WHO to look into the matter. As for the sanctions this is not fair. Our commitment to participate in non-discriminatory and verifiable global disarmament measures is amply demonstrated by our adherence to the two conventions on Biological and Chemical Weapons, where we refused to sign the CTBT (or whatever).

I enclose for your information the text of the press statement issued after the nuclear tests were carried out today. I close with the expression of my highest consideration for your country and yourself. Before I close I would like to ask you for a favour, my nephew has been trying hard to go to US to study MS. Please use your good offices to secure him a seat (donation is no problem). However, he would prefer only Nuclear Physics as he sees a great future, back home, I dont know why. Please dont say no, when you can educate Saddam why not him. I promise to give your daughter or relative 3 stories of the newly constructed Software development park in Hyderabad plus 100 software professionals at their beck and call.

Please convey my regards to bhabiji & love to beti & an extra bite of Pedigree for Buddy.

Yours sincerely,

A B Vajpayee.