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SARDAR JOKES - VOLUME 3

SARDAR AND THE BARBER

Once a Sardarji was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passer by saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector.

The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent.

The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "All right, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.

The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

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One fine morning found Sardarji driving his new Maruti (which he called marrruttti very affectionately). Sardarji was very happy to be the owner of a marrruttti and was singing to himself. Suddenly, he collided with the milkman. The accident caused much damage to the milkman's bicycle and our guy was furious. Sardarji ran towards him mumbling apologies, but the our guy was not pacified. He shouted "Sardar, khoon ka badla khoon, torfoor ka badla torfoor". Saying so, he got a stout stick and starting hammering it on the windshield. Sardarji was shocked and tried to take the stick from him, requesting him to stop. But the milkman (who was incidently very stout) got hold of the Sardarji and carried him ten metres away from his marrruttti. He drew a small circle near the road with the stick and asked Sardarji to stay inside and not move outside the circle, threatening him with his stout stick for better measure. Now our Sardarji was not very brave at heart and cooly went to stand in the circle. Our milkman goes back to what he had left in the middle and starts on the headlights. After this, he starts on the rearlights. As soon as he breaks the first one, he hears a faint chuckle from the Sardarji. He breaks the other one, now he could distinctly hear the Sardarji laugh slightly. Enraged, he goes to the Sardarji and asks him why he was laughing. Sardarji says that it was nothing. He comes backs and resumes his assault on the poor marrruttti and as he goes on in this act, Sardarji's laughs become louder and louder. Enraged, the milkman increases his assault , but the laughs keep on increasing rather than decreasing. At last, the milkman can't stop himself. He goes to the Sardar and taking him by the collar, asks him the reason for laughing. Our Sardar at first says it was nothing, but when the milkman starts getting really rough, he breaks down. He says "If I tell you, you will beat me". The milkman, now very curious, promises not to do anything if the Sardar tells him. Satisfied about his safety, our Sardarji says "You know, while u were engaged there, I came out of the circle seventeen times".

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Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question  paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration  takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails.  Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.  During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour".  "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."

Two men involved in an angry argument. One was burly Sardarji; other a frail Bania.  Sardarji who was getting the worst of  the argument lost his temper and slapped the Bania. "Did you hit me in anger or did you do it in mazaak (jest)? demanded the Bania.

"Of course I slapped you in anger, " roared the Sardarji.

"That's all right," replied the Bania, "because I don't like to be made mazaak (fun) of."

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Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission .
He who captures an adult LIon and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best .

First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half  an hour with a Lion all tied up .

Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion.

Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour , one  hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching ,
they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! " (Admit that you are a lion! You are a lion).

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University  final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what
is  going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions   -  'Answer  in brief'.

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Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?"  asked  Surjit.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday .  " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home.  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.  After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!" He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success. Then he realised he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke.  The line at the concession stand was also very long.  But since the game hadn't started he decided to wait.  Just as he got to the window, a voice called out  "Hey,   Balbir!" Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice.  But no luck. He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.  Finally he had his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin.  As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once  more. Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn't Balbir!"

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