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SARDAR JOKES - VOLUME 4

SARDAR @ NASA

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double-checked everything to make sure that things are fine.

However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, a Sardarji offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.

"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,” said the Sardarji. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.

“Bring it back to vertical position" the Sardarji said. The engineers did.
"Now start the engines,” he said. To the engineers surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do.

He replied -"It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India.”

A sardar from Delhi had an old car, which had run for over a 1,00,000 kilometers. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a good price because of its excess mileage. He approached a friend of his and asked for help. The friend gave him an address in and asked him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometers. The sardar thanked him and left the place. For a few days, the friend did not see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar had sold the car. A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the friend in the same car. The friend was surprised and asked - "What happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"  The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30,000 kilometers."

One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly "What are you doing ?.  Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same   form. So once again young couple curiously asked - "What are you doing here ?" Sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi?

Sardarji coolly replied It is written here - "FILL IN CAPITALS"

Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes. First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan (god) help you". Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.

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A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my  business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. The Sardarji goes back to the temple.....................
"Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".  Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!!  Back to the temple..................

"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and  I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the
voice of Lord : "SARDARJI, BUY THE TICKET FIRST!!!".

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A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. "Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same. They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh".

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There is this group of 7 Sardars who plan to go to Delhi to thank the President Dr. Zail Singh for his revolutionary policies, from which they have greatly benefited. Moreover, they are his old friends, and are longing to dine with the president. They agree that it would be appropriate to use a taxi. So they go to a taxi driver and ask him how much a ride would cost.

The driver frets a little and tells them, "Sahab! If only four of you were to be there I would charge you just the meter rate, but then since seven of you would be there, you have to give me Rs. 10/- more."

The Sardars agree and decide to take the taxi. The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The meter shows Rs. 18/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-."

Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e.  7. This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:
           ____
         7 | 28   = 13                 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21  ).
              7
            --
             21
             21
             --
              0
             --
The driver (naturally) is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of the Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of exultant happiness is written on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way.

Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake. They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the President of the nation! After all the initial formalities are completed, they ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi  fare. Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi driver and check the result. This is how I  do  for those tax forms I get very often. The process is slow but is sure." The other sardars nod their heads  (?) in appreciation.

The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:
                      13
                      13
                      13
                      13
                      13
                      13
                      13
                      --
                      28
                      --
 i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=28 so this checks out.   He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close  friend and Finance man Manmohan Singh. It is always better that he rechecks  it. After all, he is a Finance man,  you know!" Manmohan Singh arrives,   and when told of the problem,  he replies that he doesn't think it is  a bad deal but says, "No problem!  I will verify it via  mathematical  computation.   I'll verify it with multiplication. That is the best   technique for  this, you see!"

While others watch in admiration, Manmohan Singh goes on to write as  shown:

                               13
                               x7
                              ---
                               21
                                7
                               --
                               28        This checks out as well.
                               --

Then he says, "This is really fine. There should be no problem,  President   Sahab. After all, it is correct in all the methods."  Peace reigns at the President's residence as the inhabitants and guests remain in quite contentedness while they reminisce about their astute abilities on solving a problem in a successful fashion.

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