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SARDAR JOKES - VOLUME 5 BUS NO. 123 A Sardar is visiting Mumbai. This is his first time to the city, so he wants to see the Gateway of India. He asks a Hawaldaar (police officer) for directions. "Excuse me Hawaldaar," the Sardar says, "How do I get to the Gateway of India?" The Hawaldaar says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 123 bus. It'll take you right there." The Sardar thanks the officer and waits at the bus stop.Three hours later the Hawaldaar comes back to the same area, and sure enough, the Sardar is still waiting at the same bus stop. He gets out off his motorcycle and says, "Excuse me, but to get to the Gateway of India, I said to wait here for the number 123 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?" The Sardar says, "Don't worry, it won't be long now. The 86th bus just went by!" CHIP OFF THE OL' BLOCK Banta Singhs' son Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. "Dad, today we had spelling - all the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?". "No son, that's because you are intelligent." Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we also had Math - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar?". "No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??". The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old". TO SAVE A LIFE There once was a train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks when it suddenly deviated its course and went into the fields nearby. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught. He was found to be a Sardar and was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks, etc . Then authorities replied: "Sardarji are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger.You should have overran that person." To which our Sardar replied "Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came near". CROSSING THE TRACKS A Sardar is at the railway station. He asks one of the railway attendants "When will the Rajdhani Express go from here?". And the man replies 12.30. "When
will Punjab Express go from here"? "When
will Deccan Queen go from here"? Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. ow the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to Punjab by train or not. Sardar replies, "NO. I only wanted to cross the tracks!" POTATOES Oncer there were three convicts that escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati, and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to hide in them. About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn. The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant told the warden there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes". SANTA VS. KASPAROV Santa Singh is flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the Nuances of the Game etc. Gary says "How would You like to Play me for $ 500 US"? Santa: "But you're too good". Gary: "I'll play left handed". Santa cant resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, check Mates our Sardar in 8 Moves. Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon Reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov. Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa) Santa: "Kyon" (why)? Banta: "Abe gadhe........ Gary Kasparov Khabbu hai". (You idiot, Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed). YOU'VE GOT MAIL Banta Singh was relaxing in his front yard when his neighbor, Santa Singh came out of the house and went straight to the mail-box. He opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later he came out of his house and again went to the mail-box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went. As Banta Singh was getting ready to go back inside, Santa came out again, marched to the mail-box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by his actions Banta asked, "Is something wrong?" To which Santa Singh replied, "Oye! There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!" FEEL THE HEAT Santa, Banta and Ghanta Singh were lost in adesert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. Santa Singh took the radiator, Banta Singh took the seat, and Ghanta took the door. After walking
for a while the Banta asked Santa, "I'm confused, why did you bring
the radiator?" ANOTHER CHANCE! Once all the Sardars get disgusted about the large number of jokes that are cracked about them and so they come together in an auditorium to prove to the world that aren't that silly after all. They call upon one sardar and ask him, "What is 10 plus 10?" After thinking for some time sardarji replies, "25!" The officials to whom they want to prove get disgusted but thousands of sardars in the auditorium start shouting, "Give him another chance!" So the officials ask him again, "What is 5 plus 5?" The sardar replies after thinking for awhile, "30!" Again there's shouting from the audience, "Give him another chance!" Another question is posed, "What is 2 plus 2?" The sardarji replies after much thought, "4!" Again there is the voice of a thousand shouts, "Give him another chance! Back to top | Back to Sardar Jokes ©2000 Bhel Puri's Joke Archive. All rights reserved. |