International Colouring Contest
by my friend Lesley, and also me
Lesley and I were out at a bar one night and this guy
gave us a flyer that said "International Colouring Contest"
on it. It turned out that it was an ad for some sort of
DJed dance night thing, and it kind of looked like fun, but
we were both really disappointed that it wasn't a real
International Colouring Contest, involving crayons and
prizes and such. Is that infantile of us? No, it isn't.
Because listen up. Colouring contests are fun, and I'm going to
have one. Right here.
Here's how it's going to work:
1. Click on the attractively coloured rhinocerous below.
2. View the beautiful artwork.
3. Print the artwork. You know how it's done.
4. Colour it in. All media are welcome, with the exception
of bodily fluids, human or animal. Any entries painted with
bodily fluids will be burned immediately and their senders
hunted down and severely chastised.
5. Write a little note including your name or "handle" and also a secret code name
(something like Agent X or Code Blue is cool, but you can't
use them because they're taken already), and, if you wish,
a short explanation of why you should win the contest.
6. Wrap it all up in an envelope and send it to:
Wendy
P.O. Box #273, Station "P"
Toronto, Ontario
M5S 2S8
Canada
7. The deadline will be the end of August 2000, or whenever
I get more than three entries, whichever comes first.
Judging will be done by me, along with any friends I might
have left by the end of the summer. Prizes will be many and
varied.
8. The winner will be announced on this website. He or she
will be identified by the name they supplied with the completed
International Colouring Contest Entry. To claim a prize,
he or she will have to e-mail me with a reasonable approximation
of the special secret code name they submitted with their
Entry, and information on how they can be reached with their prize.
This is so that nobody has to send delicate information
like their mailing address to a complete stranger, at least
not until they are sure of getting a fabulous prize in return.
9. Electronic entries will not be accepted. They were going
to be, but then I wrecked my computer and it now shows only
16 colours no matter what I do, so all your hard work would
be for naught. Plus my printer isn't working, so I wouldn't
be able to put your artwork up on my fridge, which is the
whole point of this exercise in the first place.
10. If you don't like the picture supplied, or find it
limiting to your personal vision, please feel free to submit
any picture you like. But not a photograph. Not a naked
photograph. Even if you think I want to know what you look
like naked, I probably don't. Naked drawings are welcome,
but only if done in colours available from a standard
Crayola eight-pack. In fact, okay, new rule: best crudely-
drawn nude wax crayon self-portrait wins a special prize.
Alright.
11. All entries immediately become the property of the
contest holder (me).
12. Prizes may include, but will not be limited to, a set
of coasters with artistic pictures of camels in different
poses decoupaged onto them, and possibly some home-made wind-up
toys. Also maybe some other things.
13. Please tell all your friends to enter this contest,
because it will be way more fun for me if there are a lot
of entries to choose from. I hope you have a lot of friends.
14. I think that's all the rules. The link is just right
down below here.
15. I know this isn't about what I'm reading. So?
Sometimes I don't feel like reading. Okay.
