Why I Love My Job
Part 2

A guy came in the other day wearing electric-blue thong underwear over his head, a bagel on a string around his neck, and a blazer covered with Gary Hart campaign buttons. Everyone acted like it was perfectly normal.

After he left, I heard a story about how last year, at another library, one of the librarians saw a guy eating something and went up to him to make him stop, and as she drew closer, she noticed two things: i) the guy was about seven feet tall and maybe 400 pounds ii)what he was eating was raw hamburger, out of a paper bag, with his hands. So she just walked away without saying anything. A few minutes later, the guy got up and left, leaving his bag behind. So the librarian went to pick it up, and guess what she found! Yes, okay, a mess of raw meat, but also, underneath that, a BAG OF OVERSIZED BRAS!! Hurray!

So then I was telling my supervisor about this, and she told me about this guy who used to come in a few years ago, who looked like he was maybe homeless, and certainly disadvantaged, and who kept on taking out stacks of books and never returning them, until she finally, regretfully (tender soul that she is) had to cancel his card. And a few days later she got a call from the guy's banker, who told her to send him the bill and restore the card, and it turns out that this guy has a huge trust fund which he's not allowed to touch because every time he gets any money, he spends it on booze, so he has this deal with the public libraries, whereby he takes out books and sells them and buys booze with the money, and his trustees use his fund to pay off his library fines. Okay, that one's not as dramatic as the raw meat/big bra guy, but it's still pretty interesting. So that's why I love my job.